Changes
by XmariskaX
Summary: Post-New Moon. AU. It starts out B/E but it doesn't end that way. Bella and Edward are engaged. But Bella becomes more and more aware of Edward's controlling ways. A change is around the corner. B/?. Rated M to be safe. Several OC's.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Edward is back. He has been for a while now and I would like to say I couldn't be happier.  
>Unfortunately this isn't exactly true.<p>

After we came back from Italy, I was so happy. Once he had managed to convince me I was not in fact dreaming,  
>I was finally able to relish in the fact that the man I loved more than anything,<br>the man that I had been yearning for, that I had nearly gone crazy over losing, was back.  
>The great big hole in my chest had disappeared and at first it was like it had never been there.<br>This feeling did not last.

The longer Edward was back, the more I noticed the scar that hole had left in me.  
>And I was the only one who noticed it. Edward didn't notice and neither did the rest of the Cullens.<br>So I tried to pretend it wasn't there.

Edward proposed to me. I couldn't believe it. Not because I was so happy about it, but because I wasn't.  
>I've never had a lot of faith in the institute of marriage, and getting married at 18<br>never seemed like a good idea to me. Edward was the one who wanted this.  
>So I said yes, even though we both knew I wasn't happy about it.<br>The only thing I wanted, was for Edward to change me. So we could be together, as equals.  
>I was afraid if I didn't marry him, he would never turn me…<p>

Okay, so maybe getting changed wasn't the only thing I wanted. But the second thing I wanted,  
>would never happen unless I was a vampire. Because what I wanted,<br>was to have a physical relationship with Edward, and he would never go there unless I was changed.  
>As a human I was too fragile, too breakable. Like a porcelain doll.<br>A little brown haired, brown eyed, pale, clumsy as hell, doll.  
>That was how he saw me. And I had to be turned in order to change that.<br>I had to do whatever I could to make sure that Edward wouldn't see me as a doll anymore,  
>to make sure that he wouldn't leave me alone again.<br>I had to do whatever it takes.


	2. 1 Whatever It Takes

**A/N: So I hoped you liked the prologue enough to continue reading. I was going to wait with posting this till Friday, but I just couldn't wait.**

**The next time I post a chapter should be the 27th, however I'm in Holland, so with the timezones and everything it might not be the 27th with you anymore ;) I'm planning on updating every Friday. **

**Please leave a review if you like, love, hate, see spelling problems (there might be many since English is not my first language and I don't have a Beta).**

**D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related**

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><p><strong>1. Whatever It Takes<strong>

Thank god it was summer.

My high school days are over. I passed all my exams and I graduated with honours. Charlie really couldn't be more proud. I wasn't entirely sure where to go from here though. I mean, I know where I want to go, I want to become a vampire. But I also know that my vampire, my fiancée sitting next to me, had something else in mind. He was definitely not in any hurry to change me. He wanted me to have 'every' human experience. Yeah right. Except having sex. Sure, graduating high school, going to prom, going to college, get married, those were all things he wanted me to do. The one thing I wanted to do, was a no go. And I had done all those things. I had graduated high school still human, I had, very reluctantly, gone to prom with him, I had, again reluctantly, agreed to marry him and I had even applied to a dozen different colleges. Not that _I_ actually wanted to go.

Sometimes he would just make me so angry. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what more he could want from me.

"Bella, we're here. It's time to get out of the car." Edward shook me from my thoughts. I was sure he had been staring at me the whole way from my house to his, to try to figure out what was going on inside my head. To this day he couldn't stand the fact that he couldn't read my mind. It frustrated him to no end, and I could see in his face that he was frustrated with me now.

"It's not polite to just ignore someone when they talk to you." He gritted out between his teeth before getting out of the car and striding inside the beautiful white house.

Ever since Edward and his family came back I have spent every day in that house. With them. Sometimes I miss other people. Like Jacob Black. When I had first gotten out of my 'zombie'-stage he had been there for me. I thought we were becoming friends. But then, all of a sudden he had stopped talking to me. To this day he won't answer any of my phone calls. I still call him every week, more because it's a habit than expecting him to actually answer. I'll probably continue calling until I leave this town, hopefully as a vampire.

But, in order to do that, I'm going to have to make sure the man I love is no longer angry with me. I hate it when I make him upset with me. I probably should have just gotten out of the car when he asked me to instead of being amused with thoughts over how frustrated he must be with me. I sighed, got out of the car and went inside to see my family.

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><p>I had been glad to find out that by the time I made my way inside, Edward had cooled down. I was currently playing videogames with Emmett. I really love my big brother, had missed him so much when he was gone. No matter how bad I feel, he always manages to make me laugh with his silly antics. He does this hilarious victory dance every single time he wins. Even when he beats me, which isn't weird at all considering his vampire skills. I was laughing when Edward came up to me.<p>

"Bella, love. You need to eat something now."

"Edward, I'm fine. I'm not hungry right now. I'll eat later, okay?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "No, it's not okay. It's time for you to eat right now. I will not let you starve yourself. You will come with me to kitchen, and you will eat something."

Okay, overreact much? You would think I'd have gotten used to it by now. "Fine, Edward. I'll eat something," I got up and followed him to the kitchen. "but I'm really not hungry so it's not going to be much."

I had move towards the counter when he suddenly grabbed my arm. "You will eat, because I'm telling you to. And I know what's best for you, Bella." He trailed one finger over my cheek and I could feel myself get lost in his eyes. God, he could make me forget about everything just by looking at me like that.

He cupped my cheek with his free hand and kissed my forehead. "Now would you mind telling me why you are wearing something this revealing, for my brother?"

He looked at me with narrowed eyes and I could only stare back at him. What was he talking about? He has talked me into wearing different things before, because he did or didn't like a certain colour on me, but he never mentioned something like this. How can he think a simple scoop neck t-shirt is too revealing? And what does he mean with 'for my brother'? Does he think I have feelings or something for Emmett? What is wrong with him?

He tightened his grip on my arm. "Do I need to repeat the question, Bella?" He started glaring at me.

"No," I gulped and tried to take a step back. He wouldn't let me. "no, Edward. You don't have to repeat the question. And I'm not wearing anything _for_ anybody. It's just a t-shirt, Edward. Alice bought it for me a couple weeks ago. She thought the green would look good on me and she's trying to move me from blouses to t-shirts to eventually get to dresses. Or something like that…" I trailed off. I knew I was rambling, but I didn't want Edward to think something like that of me. He was the only man I'm interested in, would ever be interested in. Without him, I was nothing. The hole would come back and this time, I'm sure it would destroy me entirely.

His eyes softened. "Alice bought this for you?" I nodded frantically.

He let go of my arm to cup my other cheek and nodded before kissing me lightly on the lips. He gave me a small smile and turned away.

"I'll have to talk to Alice about what types of clothing you can wear. Make yourself some lunch and come to my bedroom." And he was gone.

I started making myself some sandwiches on autopilot. What exactly just happened. Did he really just accuse me of having feelings for one of his brothers? Did he just order me up to his bedroom? And what did he say about my clothes, what types of clothes I _can_ wear. Since when does he decide these things for me? I looked down at the half-eaten sandwich and came to the conclusion. He had been making a lot of decisions for me, and he has been doing it for quite some time now. Oh god, that's not good.

But what does he always say, _I know what's best for you_. And in a way, maybe he does. He loves me, knows me better than anybody. And I love him. I _need_ him. So what if that means I'm going to be wearing a lot of blue blouses? And eat twice as much? I get to have Edward, forever. I would things a lot worse than that for him. I smirked, yeah, like flying halfway across the world to save him from the world's most feared group of vampires. I shook my head as I cleaned up my dishes. No, this was nothing I couldn't handle. Nothing compared to the Volturi. I love Edward. And I will do whatever it takes to have him change me, so we can be together forever.


	3. 2 Change

**A/N: I just wanted to let you know that this story is not for Edward-fans (for those of you who haven't figured that out yet).**

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review, just please no flames.**

**Next update will be february 3.**  
><strong><strong><br>D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related  
><strong>**

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><p><strong>2. Change<strong>

For the past two weeks things between Edward and I have gotten worse, much worse.

He's always been a little controlling and I have always accepted that. You take the good with the bad right? I focused on the good things. Like how sweet he is, how he is the perfect gentleman, how much I love his smile. But those things seem to mean increasingly less to me. They are starting to get overshadowed by the bad things.

He is still pushing me to go to college every chance he gets. He doesn't want to change me before we get married and he doesn't want to get married before I've finished college. I told him time and time again I don't want to wait those years before he turns me, but he doesn't listen. He just tells me he know best and that I will thank him later.

On top of that he's not just telling me when to eat anymore. No, now I'm not _allowed_ to call Jacob anymore. Apparently, if Jacob wanted to be friends with me, he would have responded by now. And continuing to call him is only causing me pain. On top of that, _Jacob isn't the type of person you should be friends with_, and he is _dangerous_. Whatever that means. I actually don't have any friends outside of the Cullens anymore. Not really anyway. I quit my job at the Newton's because _I didn't need the money_. Edward will be more than happy to pay for all my expenses. And he thinks Mike is a little too interested in me, so I haven't seen him since my last shift a week and a half ago. That was also the last time I saw or spoke to Angela. Every time she calls, Edward distracts me so I don't answer and he makes sure I don't call her back. Apparently, it will only make leaving harder if I remain friends with her. It is in my best interest_ not to have any human friends, it will save me a lot of heartache when I have to leave them behind_. Off course he's right about that, but the only thing not seeing them has done, is make my heart ache now instead of later. I'm never home anymore and haven't had dinner with Charlie all week and I haven't spoken to my mother in two weeks. Also, to save myself some of the heartache.

I really don't get it, he's not even planning on changing me any time soon. So why is he keeping me away from my friends and family?

"Bella, you should have been in bed already. Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Edward was back. He had been on one of his two-day hunting trips and I honestly didn't expect him to be back before morning. I had been sitting on his bed for the last hour thinking over our relationship. Trying to see the good parts. It was not easy to do.

"It's only just after midnight Edward. It's not like there's anything I need to do in the morning. Seeing as I no longer have a job."

He was in my face faster than I could blink. "What is that supposed to mean?" He grabbed my face and force me to look in his eyes. "Is spending time with me in the morning not important enough to go to bed on time? Is the fact that I want to take care of you by taking care of your bills, not enough for you? Or is it that you miss your job."

Thinking he understood, I nodded. I did miss my job, it gave me some sense of purpose.

"I don't believe you. You don't miss your job, you miss Newton. Don't you? You miss having his attention. I'm not enough for you, am I? You're just being a selfish, spoiled brat!"

He had let me go and moved to the other side of the room during his rant. This was the point where I would usually start blubbering apologies. Beg him to forgive me. Promise to do better. That sort of thing. The only problem was, I didn't really do anything wrong. I _never_ really did anything wrong to tell the truth. And he just called me selfish! And spoiled! How dare he?

"Edward, I have had it. We both know that I am not and never have been interested in Mike. The only reason I miss my job is the fact that it gave me a sense of purpose. Something to do with my days other than just reading and playing videogames. You are acting like that makes me spoiled, but it really doesn't. I never asked you to pay for anything. I never expected you to and I sure as hell am not happy about excepting hand-outs. I'm not the one acting selfish and spoiled, you are."

He was back in front of me again, but at least he hadn't grabbed me. His eyes were pitch black.

"Watch your tongue, love." He gritted it out.

"Don't call me that right now Edward! Things between us haven't been great for a while now and we both know it. I've been hoping for it to get better, but so for it hasn't. You need to stop controlling me Edward. I'm an adult, I know when I'm hungry or tired. So I know when to eat or go to bed. I can decide for myself whether or not I want to _save myself any heartache_ by distancing myself from my family and friends. It is not you call to make! And I can decide for myself whether or not _I_ want to go to college. I love you Edward, so much. And I need you. But I also need you to let me make my own choices." By the end of my speech I was crying and I noticed that the rest of the Cullens had made their way into the bedroom.

Edward noticed too, I saw him glance at Esme before looking back at me. He stayed silent for a long time. I was starting to become a little afraid of his reaction.

But then his eyes softened. They turned back to their topaz colour and he moved over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry love. You're right, I have been getting a little overprotective of you. I promise to work on it. "

He pulled back to look me in the eyes and he kissed me. For those few seconds I was in bliss. He put our foreheads together. "I love you so much. I couldn't survive without you." He murmured with his eyes closed.

"I love you too, Edward, more than you'll ever know. And I already know that surviving without you, is not possible for me."

He gave me a small smile. "Now let's get you to bed shall we."

A part of me was upset that he was still telling me to get to bed, but at least he was nicer about it. I couldn't expect him to change over night.

I laid down under the comforter and Edward laid down next to me, humming me to sleep.

Only sleep didn't find me for a long time. I kept repeating our argument in my head, and my final words. I had told him I couldn't survive without him. I told him that I knew that because of the way I handled him leaving last time.

But right now, I realized that maybe that wasn't true. Sure, the thought of a life without him hurt, but it didn't rip open the hole in my chest. In fact, it didn't even throb at the seems. No, those seems were gone. All that was left was a scar. One that I would always carry with me, but nothing Edward could ever do, could tear open that wound again. I _had_ survived last time, not exactly in the best shape, but I had been getting there. I was moving on when Alice came back. And I could do it again.

If Edward would leave me again, I _could_ survive without him. I was stronger than I was last time. I had changed from that little girl who didn't see the bad things, to a girl who not only saw them, but faced them. I had proven that tonight. I hope I'll never have to, but if I do, I can live my life without Edward Cullen just fine.


	4. 3 New Arrivals

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review, just please no flames.**

**Next update will be february 10.**

****D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related ****

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><p><strong>3. New Arrivals<strong>

The Cullens aren't the only group of vegetarian vampires. No there was another in Alaska. The Denali's. They were like extended family, and today, I am going to meet them for the first time.

Saying I wasn't nervous would be the understatement of the century. Not only was I going to be facing 7 unknown vampires, but one of them had at one time had feelings for Edward. Maybe I wouldn't be as nervous as I am right now if things between us were good, but unfortunately they're not.

Edward is making an effort, but it's like the night of the fight last week. He doesn't just order me to do something anymore, he words it politely, but he still tells me what to do. I've tried talking to him about it again, but he just says he's trying and I should not expect more of him. I don't agree with him, I do expect more of him. If we're going to get married and spend forever together, than he'd better learn now not to control me, rather than in a couple more years.

But now is not the time to be worried about that. We're all sitting in the living room patiently waiting for the Denali's. Well, maybe not so patiently. Everybody is excited. Carmen and Eleazer are Carlisle and Esme's dearest friends and they can't wait to see them again. Their daughters Kate, Irina and Tanya (the one I'm dreading coming face to face with) might not be as close to the 'children' but they're cousins in a way. And then there are the newcomers. Apparently 2 new vampires have joined their coven about 3 months ago. None of the Cullens have ever met them and so, everyone is looking forward to it.

I was shaken out of my thoughts by Alice. "They're here". She said, simple enough but it caused a bigger reaction. Everyone sat up straighter and turned to the door, and Carlisle got up to answer it. I could hear greetings being exchanged and then, one by one the family followed Carlisle to the living room. Carlisle joined Esme on the loveseat once again and one of the vampires started making introductions.

"Hello everyone, I'm so happy to be here again. This really is a joyous occasion. We get to meet your dear Bella and you the new additions to our coven. First of all, I am Eleazar," He made a small bow which made me smile, and gestured to a pretty woman standing next him, with long wavy black hair. "and this is my mate Carmen." She stepped forward. "Esme, my dear friend, your house is truly beautiful, you always did have a knack for decorating." Then she turned to me. "And you must be Bella, I have heard so much about you, I'm honoured to meet you."

"It's very nice to meet you too, all of you. I've been looking forward to it for a while now1" I smiled at her and looked at the others. They were, of course, all very beautiful.

I studied the vampires before me as the rest of the introductions were made. Tanya was gorgeous. And the way she kept smirking at Edward made me very uneasy, it was obvious this beautiful woman wanted him. She had long strawberry blond hair, the golden eyes I so badly wanted and long legs to go with the flawless vampire skin. Looking at her made me envious. Not just of her looks, because next to her, I was obviously plain, but the confidence she possessed. And of course the fact that she is a vampire whereas I am not. To ensure I wasn't going to be turning green with envy any time soon, I turned to look at her sisters, Kate and Irina. They were both equally beautiful. Kate with her long straight dark brown and Irina with her pale, almost white blond hair. But where Kate looked kind and somewhat approachable, Irina looked cold, untouchable. I was not going to be making friends with her or Tanya.

Then I turned to the new additions. They were Christian and Elissa Thaine, brother and sister. She was just as beautiful as the other women. But something about her was different. She seemed to have more life in her, her topaz eyes seemed to sparkle and she smiled at me when she introduce herself. Not out of some weird curiosity like the others seemed to, but genuine kindness. I decided I liked her. Despite the fact that standing next to her would make me feel just as plain as standing next to the sisters. She wasn't as tall as them though, definitely taller than Alice, but much shorter than the sister or Rosalie. She had these tiny dark blonde curls framing her face that looked nothing like her brother's.

And Christian Thaine was something to look at. My god, he was gorgeous. Where his sister's hair was dark blonde, his was a deep black. It was cut short, but long enough to see the curls touching the tops of his ears. They made him look softer. Which he definitely needed, because he was big and hard. Maybe not quite as muscular as Emmett, but he got damn close. His broad shoulders strained against the black, long sleeved shirt he was wearing and I secretly couldn't help but wonder what he would look like without that shirt. I, of course, immediately felt guilty and glanced at Edward, hoping he didn't notice my suddenly red cheeks. He didn't, he was too busy glaring at Christian. I idly wondered what that was about. But it didn't last long, Christian caught my eye and gave me a genuine smile. I smiled back.

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><p>The rest of the morning was spent getting to know each other better, or just catching up with old friends. I had been talking with Eleazar and Carmen for quite some time before I'd gotten up to get something to drink. I was currently looking out into the livingroom by myself, just observing everyone else. Eleazar, Carmen, Esme and Carlisle were talking animatedly by the back door. Kate and Emmett were playing one of his videogames, I smiled at that. He had found a new unsuspecting victim to play his newest game with. Jasper and Christian were deep in a deep conversation, it seemed serious. And Edward was just standing next to them. Just nodding every once in a while. Alice and Elissa were standing not too far from me. I had thought they would get along great. They both seemed like bubbly people. From where I was standing however, they weren't getting along at all. I frowned at that, Alice was my best friend and getting to know Elissa, which was something I really wanted to do, would be a lot easier if they got along. I heard a laugh coming from Rosalie, which I did not hear often, she was still so cold to me. She was sitting on the couch with Irina and Tanya. I was wondering what it was that got her to laugh like that. Then I noticed that Tanya didn't seem any more interested in the conversation than Edward seemed to be in his. And I noticed something else. Every few seconds they would look at each other. Sometimes she smirked. Sometimes he smiled his crooked smile. Rationally I knew it didn't mean anything. I was already jealous of her before I met her, I was overreacting. But it still seemed like she was talking to him in her mind and het responded by smiling at her.<p>

I knew that I was starting to become paranoid and I didn't notice Elissa coming up to me at all, "Hi!" so when she spoke, I jumped.

"Oh," she giggled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just wanted to get to know you." I saw her cast a glance at Alice before desperately glancing back at me.

I understood. She wanted to get away from Alice. "It's fine, I was just a little zoned out is all. Want to go for a walk?"

She nodded enthusiastically before pulling me out the back door. I couldn't help but laugh at her, but now I definitely needed to know. "Okay, so why did you want to get away from Alice so badly? Was she trying to convince you to play dress-up? Because that usually sends me running for the hills."

She smiled back at me. "No, she didn't. Although I can totally see why you would ran from that. I'd do the same thing!"

"So, what was is? If you don't mind me asking. I mean, Alice is my best friend, but I know she can be a bit much sometimes."

"Oh definitely! It's weird that you guys are best friends, you seem so different…" She seemed deep in thought while she was staring at me. It didn't make me feel uncomfortable though, which in and of itself was strange.

Then she nodded, as if she decided something. "I'll tell you. It's not like you're not going to find out sooner or later anyway. Especially if Alice is your best friend." She linked our arms together and started walking around the house. "You see, I have a gift. And your friend… well she relies heavily on hers. And that's rather difficult with me around. She sees everyone's future, but she can't see mine." She chanced a look at me to see if I knew about Alice's gift, I nodded.

"You see, I am a shield. It's very limited and I can't control it, but it's a shield nonetheless. No one can see my past, or my future. So Alice's gift doesn't work on me. But Edward's does. Because it has nothing to do with my past or future. I can't turn it off to let someone see either. I tried once, when I met Aro, of the Volturi?" She looked at me again, to see if I understood.

I smiled grimly. "We've met."

Het eyes got large and she stopped walking. "You're kidding! But you're human? How… I mean…"

I cut her off. "It's a long story, one that I'll tell some other time if that's okay?"

She looked back at me for a second before continuing on our path. "Right, I'll find out some other time. Either way, when I met Aro he tried his gift on me. Considering you met him, I'm sure you know that when he touches you, he can see every thought you have ever had. Well, he couldn't see any of my old thought, but he could see my current ones."

"Because they have nothing to do with your past or future." I said, understanding her gift.

"Exactly! Either way, he decided my shield wasn't powerful enough to want in his guard, which I was thankful for, and let me go on my merry way."

"Well, I am definitely happy about that. Living with the Volturi didn't seem like such an amazing thing to me."

"No, it doesn't does it. Anyway, Alice doesn't like me because she can't see my future, or anyone that is in it with me. So she can't see us talking right now. She doesn't like it. And to me, I know she's your best friend and all, but she just seems so meddlesome. Wanting to everybody's every move… I don't know, I just don't like her."

"Maybe the pixie will grow on you. How do you like the Denali's? You've been living with them for 3 months now right? Did you start drinking from animals then?"

She laughed at my string of questions before answering. "My brother and I have been alone for a very long time, but we have been drinking from animals almost our entire existence. Not counting our human lives or our newborn year. The reason we're with the Denali's now is, that it's difficult to stick to it when it's just the 2 of us. Every few months one of us slips up and we need to move again. Being with so many helps, neither one of us has even had an almost-slip up since living with them." She stopped smiling then and looked rather thoughtful. "I'm not sure I like them though. I don't think we really fit in. All the sisters have done is hit on my brother. It really pisses me off. If he wasn't interested the first time, what makes them think he will be the 20th?" She was grumbling now, before sighing. "I guess it's just that it was our only hope. Carmen and Eleazar are nice enough… I can tell my brother likes it here a lot better than in Denali though. And I have to admit, I like you more than all the Denali's combined." She was smiling brightly at me now, and I couldn't help but smile back. I think the two of can might be able to become great friends.

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><p>When we got back inside, avoiding Edward's glares, we made our way over to Eleazar, Carlisle and Christian. They were talking about abilities, which was really very intriguing. I found out there's more to Christian than just his charming smile. He has the ability to project thoughts and images. He can't receive them however. By this time Edward had joined us. He wrapped his arm around me possessively while glaring at Christian, and gave me his jacket. "You looked cold." He whispered in my ear. I really didn't know what his problem was, or why he was being so terribly possessive, but I decided to ignore it for the time being.<p>

"I'm definitely intrigued by you, Bella. Carlisle tells me you seem to be some sort of shield? Edward, Aro and Jane all tried their abilities on you and none of them worked?" Eleazar asked me, while smiling at me. Slightly condescendingly I might add.

I smiled back and as usual for me, blushed, before I answered him. "That's true. Edward says it's like my brain transmits on am and he only pick up fm. And though he can't read my mind and Aro and Jane's abilities don't work on me, Alice and Jasper's do. Personally I think it's just attacks to my brain that don't work. Both Alice and Jasper's powers have to do with physicality, while Edward's, Aro's and Jane's powers all seem to work mentally."

Eleazar looked stunned, like he just saw water catch fire. It really was rather insulting. I was human, not stupid. Carlisle looked slightly less stunned and thoughtful, like he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that, Christian was smiling brightly at me and Edward, of course, was glaring at Christian for it.

Eleazar blinked and finally decided to respond. "I think you might be right. Perhaps we could see if either Kate's or Christian's abilities work, but I think you might be correct. Once you are changed I could tell you more, but while you're human, I can't tell more than the fact that you have a gift. Which of course you already know."

Somewhere in that speech, Edward had started to growl. I hoped it was because Eleazar mentioned testing Kate's and Christian's abilities, while I had no idea what they could do, it certainly didn't sound like fun. However I'm afraid Edward started growling because Eleazar said _once_ you're changed, not if. And that scares me a lot more than testing abilities.

I decided to break the tension anyway, there was always time for me and Edward to talk later. "What exactly is it that you can do?" I asked Christian.

He smiled at me again. It was starting to look like every time I even acknowledged him, he would smile at me. I think he was trying to make himself look friendlier, since his looks didn't scream friendly any more than Emmett's did.

_I believe you already know. I can project any thought or image to anyone._

"Oh my god." I was completely stunned. Than I started smiling.

Edward shook me, a little too hard. "What's wrong? Love, answer me. What happened Bella?" He looked worried, very worried.

I looked past him to Christian and answered. "He spoke to me. Inside my head." I looked back at Edward smiling widely. "It worked! Edward, it worked! I'm not some total freak, and my brain isn't completely dysfunctional." Ever since I found out that my mind was the only one he couldn't read, I had been worried about this. Worried that there was something wrong with my brain. Now, I was a lot less worried.

Edward however did not look happy at all. He looked shocked. Than he turned to Christian and he stopped looking shocked, and started looking enraged.

"What did you project to her? I can't read her mind, I have no idea what you sent her." He took a step closer to Christian, who was looking rather confused. It seems neither one of us really saw the issue with that.

"You didn't even ask permission!" I sincerely hoped he meant mine, not his. Edward's eyes had gone pitch black.

"Ever since you came in here, your thoughts have bothered me. And now you have violated my Bella's mind! I do not trust you."

"Edward, calm down. I asked about his power, he didn't violate me at all. He just mentally told me he can project thoughts and images. That's it. He didn't do anything wrong. Please calm down." I tried to get Edward to back off, but he didn't budge an inch.

It was Carlisle who saved the day. "Yes, Edward, I think you do need to calm down. Bella has already made it clear that Christian did not intrude on her and did not _say_ anything he shouldn't have." He turned to the entire room then. "I believe we could all use a little break. Let's go hunting."

There were murmurs going around the room of agreement and everyone started making their way outside. Elissa gave my hand a squeeze on the way out, which I was grateful for.

Edward glared at Christian's back until he was out the door.

"I don't like him. I don't like that he can get inside your head. And I don't like his thoughts about you. He is far more intrigued than he should be." Then he sighed and kissed my forehead. "I'll be back soon." And he was out the door with the others. And I didn't know how to feel about his little speech.


	5. 4 Unexpected?

**A/N: Please let me know what you think by leaving a review, just please no flames.**

**Next update will be february 17**

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><p><strong>4. Unexpected?<strong>

"_I don't like him. I don't like that he can get inside your head. And I don't like his thoughts about you. He is far more intrigued than he should be." Then he sighed and kissed my forehead. "I'll be back soon." And he was out the door with the others. And I didn't know how to feel about his little speech._

I really didn't know what to think. Edward was getting more and more possessive, for some reason he saw Christian as competition. I didn't get it. I mean, sure Christian is sexy, nice, has a great smile, is _really_ built, has the kind of hair you just want to twirl your fingers in… Okay, stop thinking about Christian Thaine. He might be a walking wet dream, but that does not change the fact that despite everything my heart still lies with Edward. The only person who can change that is him.

But what if that's what he wants to do? What if he really doesn't want to change me? Not only does that leave me without a forever with Edward, it also leaves me with the Volturi on my, in that case vary human, tail.

Well, if Edward won't change me, maybe I can get Carlisle to do it. Or maybe Alice. I know they're both loyal to Edward, but there is the promise Alice, Edward and myself made to Aro that I would be changed. Surely that is enough to get one of them to do it? Otherwise, maybe Eleazar? He certainly seems intrigued enough by my gift, plus he used to work on the Volturi guard. If my change was promised, perhaps he would see to it that it happens if the Cullens won't.

If worse comes to worse I guess I can always go to the Volturi myself. I'm think Aro might like to change me. If only for my gift. The downside to that one is, that I'll have to serve in the guard. I won't be able to get around that…

I heard the front door open and looked up. I noticed I had been sitting here, on this couch for over 2 hours. A phone buzzed, it wasn't mine. I don't have a cell phone. The buzzing came from Edward's jacket, which I was still wearing. I took the phone out of the pocket and looked at it. There was a text message, from Tanya. I looked up and saw Elissa coming into the livingroom. It must have been her I heard coming through the front door. I idly wondered where everyone else was, when the phone caught my attention again. I saw the first line, and gasped. I opened the message.

_Lover, where r u? I need u, now._

What the hell? I went to his inbox to check more messages. And there were more. A lot more.

_Can't wait to be in Forks with you. I need you in me again. Been too long._

_Lover, you left your watch here, better come back for another round._

_Why do you always have to stay with the human so long, when you should be here with me, fucking my brains out_

_U know I'm the only one who can satisfy u. Why keep up the charade with the human bitch? Just tell them and get back here_

_I love u too_

Everything started spinning. Edward. Tanya. Together. Charade. The human. Love. Too.

That's what it said. I love u too.

He loves her.

He's been having sex with her.

All the hunting trips, oh god.

He doesn't even want to be with me.

"Bella, what's wrong, honey?"

It was Elissa. Does she know? She lives with the Denali's, it's more than possible she does. Only one way to find out. I handed her the phone.

"That's Edward's phone. Look through the inbox."

She looked at me like she wanted to say more, but I pushed the phone at her. She picked it up and started reading.

I was just staring straight ahead, at nothing. He doesn't love me. He doesn't love me. He doesn't love me. _He_ doesn't love _me_.

Elissa finished reading and wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

I looked at her. "He doesn't love me. We're supposed to get married. He was supposed to change me and he doesn't even love me."

I started crying, sobbing uncontrollably.

Elissa just rocked me and told me she was sorry.

* * *

><p>My tears had dried up about ten minutes ago, but I couldn't seem to move. I hadn't said anything yet either, neither had Elissa. I was grateful for her, grateful she was there when I read it, when I found out.<p>

What was I going to do now? I no longer had Edward. But everything I had planned revolved around him.

I knew I didn't want to go to college, because I wanted to be a vampire. No Edward, meant no vampire, didn't it?

And heck, even if I did want to go to college, I could never afford it now! Not now that he had me quit my job. Why the hell did he do that?

Why did he make me quit, offer to pay my tuition and everything when he already knew he wouldn't be there?

Why did he make me give up my friends when he knew I would lose the Cullens?

Why did he ask me to marry him when he knew he didn't love me and he would never actually marry me?

Why did he promise Aro to change me when he knew he didn't want me forever?

Why did he go to the Volturi in first place, when he found out I died? Apparently he was doing just fine with Tanya after he left.

So many why's and only one person has the answers.

But do I want them? Do I want to know the answers to all those questions?

Maybe I should ask myself the most important one.

If I was willing to give up so much of myself to become a vampire, did I still want to be one now that Edward was no longer in that future?

I sat up straighter, causing Elissa to let me go and give me a questioning look. I didn't return it. I was processing. This took me months last time. The last time I lost Edward, the world ended for me, because my future, everything I had planned, he took with him. But not this time. This time I had options.

The Cullens hadn't left, yet. And I always had the Volturi. I knew how to get there, how to contact them. Even if my future no longer held Edward, my mate is out there somewhere. And I want to find him.

The answer to my question is yes. Yes, I do still want to become a vampire without Edward. And I will be.

I turned to look at Elissa, she shrunk back from the look in my eyes and I smiled softly.

"He left me once before you know. Right after my 18th birthday party, Jasper tried to take a bite out of me," I smiled at that, I was never and never would be upset with Jasper for that. Elissa smiled back at me. "Edward left me because he didn't think it was safe for me to be around him and his family. He saved my life so many times and still thought his family was the biggest danger to me. He left me in the middle of the woods, by myself. A search party found me late that night, dehydrated and hypothermic. I was lucky to get out of it with nothing more than pneumonia. When I lost Edward, he left and took his family with him. Every plan I had for my life, my future involved them. The family. And they left, without saying goodbye. I turned into a zombie. It took me months to process everything. To realize what exactly I had lost and why it hurt so much." I took a deep breath before telling her the part I had promised to tell her earlier.

"I was finally pulling myself together. I was dealing with everything, but I needed something to say goodbye. I jumped off of a cliff in La Push, or at least tried to. At the last second I changed my mind. In theory, the thought that it could kill me made it the perfect goodbye. You know, just being around the Cullens could kill me, but I trusted that it wouldn't. The same thing for the cliff diving. I knew it could kill me, but trusted it wouldn't. But the thought of actually dying scared me too much to go through with it." Elissa grabbed hold of my hand and I could see the venom in her eyes and knew she would be crying if she could.

"Alice had seen my decision to jump and came back here to help my dad with the funeral. He was helping organizing the funeral for one of his best friends at the time and she assumed it was mine. She told Rosalie where she was going and why, and she called Edward. By the time I came home from La Push, Alice was there waiting for me. Unfortunately the happy reunion didn't last long. Edward decided that since I had died, so would he. He went to the Volturi."

She looked at me, finally understanding why I knew them and had met Aro. I told her about the journey to Volterra with Edward, about finding him just in time, about the fear I had for the guard members that greeted us and about meeting Aro and his brothers. I explained the promise Alice had to make, told her about Edward's reluctance to comply once we were back in Washington and about the vote that night.

I told her about Edward's demands that we get married first, that I drop my friends, that I shy away from my family, that I go to college. I told her about his controlling behaviour getting worse every day. And about the hunting trips, which obviously weren't so much about hunting.

When I finished she just hugged me, and I found out I did have more tears.

"It's going to be alright, honey. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. There are no words I can think of to make you feel better, but just know that I'm here for you."

I smiled at her words and dried my tears, I was hoping more than promising myself that those would be the last tears I will ever cry for Edward Cullen.

"Thank you. Just being here and listening is enough. It means a lot to me that you would just sit here and let me vent. We've just met, but I feel like I can trust you."

"You can, you know. Any idea what you're going to do now?"

"Well, first I'm going to wait for Edward to come back and I'm going to confront him. I'm going to end everything, I'm going to tell him I will not marry him and under no circumstances will I be spending any time with him, let alone forever." I took off my engagement ring as I said this and put it down on the coffeetable. I'd always hated that thing. As if having to go through an actual Alice-sized wedding wasn't enough, Edward would have had me wear that ostentatious ring. I really did not like the thing.

"Then, I'm going to work on my future. The one without Edward." I turned from the ring back to Elissa. "I still want to be a vampire. Edward obviously isn't my mate, but he is still out there somewhere. And until I find him, I am going to spend time with my family, my vampire family. Which by the way, for as far as I'm concerned, you are now part of. I will still be a vampire."

Elissa smiled brilliantly at me. "Good for you. And you're family to me too."

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><p><strong>AN: I know I already asked, but please just hit the button below and leave me a review!**


	6. 5 Family

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review, just please no flames.**

**Next update will be February 24**

****D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related ****

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><p><strong>5. Family<strong>

I finally came around enough to ask Elissa why she was back alone, not that I wasn't eternally grateful to not have had more witnesses to this moment in my life.

"Oh, I was hunting with Emmett and Rosalie, and they got a bit… a… distracted… near the end." I looked at her and knew she would be blushing just as much as I was right now had she been human. The thought made me smile a little, despite the dark feelings I was having at the moment.

None of us spoke after that. I think we were both nervous about what was to come. I just sat there on the couch with her arms around me staring at my, Edwards, engagement ring, wondering what on earth I was going to say to him.

We couldn't have been sitting there for more then 5 minutes when the back door opened. I closed my eyes praying it wasn't Edward, I didn't want to face him yet. At the same time I knew that the more people returned before him, the more people would be witnesses to our break-up and I wasn't sure how to handle that.

Luckily, or unfortunately, depending how you look at it, it wasn't Edward. Emmett and Rosalie had obviously met up with Alice, Jasper, Kate, Irina and Christian. Oh god, I hardly knew any of the Denali's and they were all going to be witnesses to one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

I was freaking out. What if I couldn't do this? Oh god, oh god, oh god.

"What the hell is going on here?" Came Emmett's booming voice. I looked up and realized I must look like a total mess. I had been crying my eyes out and I was sure they were completely bloodshot by now. I also suddenly realized what a mistake it was to take off my ring, since it was the first thing Alice noticed.

"Bella, why are you not wearing your engagement ring?" Suddenly all eyes turned to that damn ring lying on the coffee table. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning to look each and every one of them in the eye before answering.

"There is nothing going on here at the moment Emmett, about an hour ago… yes, that might have been easily seen as hell. But right now, nothing to worry about. As to why my ring is on the coffee table and not my finger, that is absolutely none of your business. _I _will discuss something with Edward when he returns. I would appreciate it if all of you could stay out of this till then. I will not be telling you what is going on, you will just have to wait." I got up from the couch and realized I was still wearing Edward's coat. It even smelled like him. I took it off as fast as I could, it didn't do anything but bring back memories. Memories of things I did not want to remember right now.

"I'm going to wash my face." I turned to go to the washroom when Elissa stopped me.

"Are you going to be okay in there? I can come with you if you need me to?"

Out of the corner of my eye I say Alice looking shocked at this exchange. I also saw her looking sufficiently frustrated. I grinned, thanks to Elissa showing up before I read the texts, Alice had no idea what was going on. And obviously Elissa was going to be staying around for the showdown with Edward, otherwise Alice would have seen that.

It made me ridiculously happy to know that Alice had no more of an idea how this was going to turn out than I did.

I smiled at Elissa before answering, realizing I had just been standing there, in the middle of the room for a while now. "I'll be fine. Thanks again for being there."

I looked meaningfully at Alice and she followed my lead, when she saw Alice, she grinned. She looked back at me as she said: "Anytime honey, anytime. Glad I could be of service."

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><p>Okay, I will admit that I might have taken a bit more time than necessary in the washroom, but when I came back to the living room, it was like I was in an entirely different house.<p>

Kate and Irina were on the far side of the room looking on with little interest. Rosalie and Jasper were in the middle of the room trying to cool things down. Cool what down exactly? Well, the two vampires who were desperately trying to take a chunk out of the other.

Alice was by the back door being held back by Emmett and Elissa was on the other side of the room with Christian holding on to her to keep her from getting to Alice.

"This is all your fault!" Alice shrieked at Elissa.

"How the hell is anything my fault? You don't even know what's going on!"

"Because of you! Without you I would have seen it. I would have seen whatever it is that is wrong with Bella and I could have helped her!"

"You couldn't have done anything for her that I didn't do!"

"Bitch! Of course I could have, I am her best friend. I could have prevented whatever this is! Now I don't even now how to not make it worse, because with you being here, I can't _see_ anything!"

Jasper decided that was the right time to jump in. "Perhaps that would be a good idea. From the emotions I felt coming off of Bella, something is really wrong. If there is anything we can do to help her, Alice will be able to see it, without you."

Elissa stopped struggling and looked like she could start sobbing any minute. Alice looked like the cat that ate the canary.

"Enough." I said. They all turned to look at me. "Elissa, please don't leave. I need you to be here. Please stay?"

She smiled at me and Christian released her with a small smile directed at me, and she ran over and hugged me.

When she let go I turned to Alice. Who now looked a weird cross between hurt, frustrated and jealous.

"Alice, I'm sorry not being able to see frustrates you. But I'm thankful for it. Not only was Elissa there for me when I really needed her, but she also gave me the chance to deal with this on my own. I don't know exactly what is going to happen, and I honestly don't think anyone else should either. I'm sorry Alice, but the fact that I can do this my own way, without you trying to find the easiest way, makes me very happy. Or at least as happy as I can be at the moment."

Alice looked incredibly angry for a moment. Then she huffed. "Fine, so tell us what's going on."

"I already told you I won't"

"Yeah, but Elissa obviously knows, why can she know and not the rest of us. _We_ are supposed to be your family." Emmett looks somewhere between hurt and angry.

"You are my family. But today Elissa became like my family too. The reason she knows is because she came home at the right time I guess. I needed someone, she was there and I trusted her."

"So, if Rosie and I hadn't gotten sidetracked, you would have told us too?" He looked hopeful now.

"Yes Emmett. The two of you also would have found me falling to pieces on the couch. Now can we please just all drop it."

All this fighting had actually managed to distract me from what was really going on. I couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not.

_Thank you _

I looked up. Christian was staring at me intently. I raised an eyebrow in a silent question, causing him to smile.

_For what you said. For claiming my sister as family. She needed that, she's always wanted a sister. We've only ever had each other. When we got to Denali, with all the sisters, we both thought she might finally have that. But they've always been more interested in trying to get in my pants or some humans' or their damn clothes to take much notice of her._

When he mentioned the sisters my heart panged. But I smiled nonetheless. I was glad she was happy with me seeing her as my sister. It made me happy as well.

_Just so you know. _

I looked back at him. His smile had turned into a smirk.

_I don't see you as a sister at all._

Then he got up and walked away. So many different ways to interpret that one.

No way I had the space in my head to do it now.

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><p>I was still sitting on the damn couch. Still watching the damned ring. And it was getting harder and harder to keep the emotions in. I kept seeing the best moments between me and Edward, interspaced with images of him, naked, all tangled up with Tanya. Even though I'd never actually seen it, my imagination seemed good enough to conjure up an image.<p>

The front door opened.

My heart literally stopped for a second. Causing every vampire in the room to look my way.

They'd all done a pretty good job ignoring me after the whole. The were leaving me be, which I was grateful for. But apparently, a little thing like your heart missing a beat made them take notice again.

I turned to the door.

It wasn't Edward.

What the hell was taking him so long? I want to get this over with.

Carlisle, Esme, Eleazar and Carmen walked in the room smiling. The smiles quickly stopped when they took notice of the atmosphere in the room.

And suddenly I knew why Edward wasn't here yet.

The only ones still out were Edward and Tanya. I couldn't believe he would cheat on me now. When there was a house filled with vampires to catch him. I looked at Elissa, who had just realized the same thing I did. She stared at me with wide, horror-struck eyes. He really didn't care much whether he got caught or not.

And just like that the tears were back.

I was quickly enveloped in Esme's arms. "What exactly is going on here?" Carlisle questioned the room at large, while Esme was murmuring in my ear that everything would be fine.

She didn't know it would be. She didn't even know what was going on.

I hope she doesn't know what Edward has been up to.

What if she does?

Oh god, what if everybody but me knew?

"We don't know what's going on." Alice answered Carlisle's question. "When we came back it was only Bella and Elissa here. Bella had been crying and she's not wearing her engagement ring. Neither of them will tell us what happened, and because of Elissa's little _gift_ I can't see anything."

"What do you mean she not wearing her ring?" Esme asked Alice. Then she turned to me before Alice could answer. "Bella, what is going on? Why would you take off your engagement ring? You love Edward, why would you want to take it off?"

I looked up at her through my tears and I couldn't not know. I had to know for sure that she didn't.

I took a deep breath and answered. "Edward is cheating on me with Tanya. He has been ever since he left me after my birthday. Please tell me you didn't know? Please say you didn't know!" I was back to crying again. Everyone gasped, no vampire took a breath. And then I heard the front door.

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><p><strong>AN: Let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks!**


	7. 6 Accident

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review, just please no flames.**

**Next update will be March 2**

****D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related ****

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><p><strong>6. Accident<strong>

_I took a deep breath and answered. "Edward is cheating on me with Tanya. He has been ever since he left me after my birthday. Please tell me you didn't know? Please say you didn't know!" I was back to crying again. Everyone gasped, no vampire took a breath. And then I heard the front door._

In walked my fiancée, at least for the time being, with Tanya. They were both completely soaked. It looked like they had gone for a swim without taking their clothes off.

Probably to hide the scents, the evidence, of what they had done.

Edward started looking around the room. I can only imagine what he was hearing in everyone's minds. That was a big part of the reason I didn't want anyone else to know what was going on. I wanted to confront him, not have him hear I knew from someone else's mind.

Edward's expression was grim when he turned to me. "Care to explain what is going on? Why is everyone hiding their thoughts from me? And why have you been crying?" He hadn't made a move towards me, which I was grateful for, but was a little bit uncharacteristic for him.

"You left your phone." I answered and looked to Tanya in time to notice the look of shock on her face and hear her gasp. Edward must have heard in her mind what she thought must have happened because for a moment he looked absolutely murderous. His eyes had gone completely black again and I couldn't help the bit of fear that creeped in. So I averted my eyes and threw him his phone. He caught it with ease.

"It seems you missed a message. Although Tanya obviously found you without help of modern technology."

His eyes shot to mine. "Did you read my text message?"

I glared back at him. "I read all of them."

In an instant he was in front of me again. All of the others, including Tanya, were backing away. And I faced him, I stood up and I looked him straight in the eyes.

"What gives you the right to go through my phone? Huh?"

"Nothing I suppose. Doesn't change the fact that I did. I heard your phone go off and I happened to see the first word. _Lover_. That got my attention, so I opened it. Want to know what it said? Because I do. I know all of them. _Lover where r u?_ That's the one you missed. And the others, well. Maybe a recap. _I need you in me again_. That was definitely one of my favourites. Or referring to me as _the human bitch_, really very nice. How about _charade_? Ring a bell? Or maybe, _I love u too_. Because that's the one that did it for me. That's the one where I realized just how big of an asshole you are!"

"Watch your tongue, love. Don't make me remind you again." He gritted out between clenched teeth.

"That's your response? I tell you I know you have been with Tanya ever since you left me after my birthday, and you respond with _watch you tongue_? What is wrong with you? And don't you ever call me love again. It is over between us. There is no way in hell I am marrying you. Your ring is on the coffee table. I'm sure you can think of something to do with it."

I tried to walk past him, I tried to go upstairs and pack some things, but he stopped me. He gripped my arms and pulled me against him.

"It is not over. You are mine. You will stay mine. And you will marry me."

"Right, because I don't have any free will. Fuck you. I. Am. Not. Marrying. You. Got it? Now let me go!"

"You will listen to me!" He roared. "Tanya and I will continue seeing each other, and you and I will get married."

"What?" I saw in Tanya's expression that this was not a plan she was too happy about either. "You want to continue fucking her, while being married to me? I don't know what is wrong with you, Edward. But that is not going to happen. I can't speak for Tanya, but I can speak for myself. And I am not spending another moment being engaged to you. Let alone actually marry you. Now let me the fuck go!"

He roared. In that moment he was completely terrifying. "Why can't you just obey me! And I told you to watch your tongue!" And he hurled me away from him.

It was like everything happened in slow motion. He threw me, like the doll he saw me as, right into the wall. And right through it.

* * *

><p>Oh god.<p>

What just happened?

Everything hurts.

I opened my eyes and saw… I saw Carlisle. I think. It's all a little blurry.

"What's… happening?" I croaked out.

"Oh Bella, thank god!" That was Elissa. Suddenly she appeared on my other side.

"You took quite a fall this time Bella. You're bleeding profusely and most of the family has moved away to avoid it."

"It hurts… I… I'm cold, Carlisle, help me." I could feel myself fading.

And then the pain got less. That couldn't be good.

"We need to help her, Carlisle!" Elissa. I'm so glad she's still here.

"There's nothing I can do. With her injuries, there's no way I can save her life. She will die, soon."

What? No! No, I can't die. They need to turn me. They need to know I still want that! Elissa. Elissa knows.

"Elissa… Remember…I said… Turn…" I managed to get a few words out and I hope it was enough.

"Yes! Oh Bella we will, we will turn you. Carlisle, you have to. I can't do it, I've never done it. You have to turn her."

"It is not my decision to make. Edward has always been adamant that he decides where and when she changes. He should be the one to change her, even with recent events, he is her fiancée. Her reason for wanting this life." I heard him leave my side.

"No!" Edward. He was keeping his distance. Probably because of all the blood. "I will not change her. She was not meant for this life and I will not condemn her to it. I will not condemn her to an eternity without her soul."

"You fool!" That was Elissa again. Then she started pleading with someone. "Please. She wanted this. She told me so herself this afternoon. She told me she still wanted to become a vampire, even without Edward. So she could be with her vampire family and so she could find her soul mate. Please, you know I can't do it. But you can. Please turn her."

For a moment nothing happened.

Then someone moved to my side. "No! She will not be turned!" Edward again.

I heard the sound of two rocks colliding and realized someone must have stopped him from rushing over to me. My guess was, it was Elissa.

_Is it true? If you want to be turned, just nod_

Christian. It was Christian. Of course Elissa would ask her brother, she had no real connection with the others. But I was grateful. Incredibly grateful. This was what I wanted. Had always wanted.

I nodded.

I felt teeth dig into the skin of my neck.

And then everything went black.

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><p><strong>AN: Please leave me a review and let me know what you think**


	8. 7 The Aftermath

**A/N: I had some trouble with this. Writing of Bella being a newborn, her first hunt. I knew I wanted her to be like in the books. You know, amazing selfcontrol. But I couldn't get it right.  
>So, I was going to skip over this phase and skip ahead a couple of weeks. However, this doesn't quite work because there are some things that need to be dealt with sooner. Leaving them be for weeks, would not be right.<br>Because of that, a lot of this chapter comes from Breaking Dawn. It all belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone, but it was necessary for my story and I just couldn't get it right all by myself.  
>Please do still read it, and don't just skip over it because there are some pretty important facts coming up in this chapter and I did change some things up.<br>I hope you will all still enjoy reading this.  
>Love, Maris<strong>

**P.S. For everyone who didn't get it yet, whenever I right just a sentence _in cursive_ it means it's Christian talking to Bella. It will happen more and more.**

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review, just please no flames.**

**Next update will be March 9**

****D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related ****

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><p><strong>7. The Aftermath<strong>

Is it true? If you want to be turned, just nod

_Christian. It was Christian. Of course Elissa would ask her brother, she had no real connection with the others. But I was grateful. Incredibly grateful. This was what I wanted. Had always wanted._

_I nodded. _

_I felt teeth dig into the skin of my neck. _

_And then everything went black. _

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><p>My heart stopped.<p>

There was no sound. No breathing. Not even mine.

For a moment, I couldn't comprehend the fact that the burning was over.

Then I opened my eyes.

Everything was so clear. So defined.

Even the dust in the air was so beautiful that I inhaled in shock; the air went down my throat but the action felt wrong. There was no relief tied to it, I didn't really need the air. But I _liked_ it. I could taste the room around me. The different flavours in the air and I knew they belonged to vampires.

But I didn't recognize the scents. I hissed and before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown scents. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur, but it didn't.

By the time I found myself crouched against the wall I had already seen who were in the room with me. I already knew I had overreacted.

My vampire family waited cautiously against the far wall by the door, Emmett, Jasper and Christian in the front. Elissa was peeking around Christian's elbow with a huge grin on her face; the light sparkled off her teeth. The grin reassured me.

The biggest part of my brain at the moment however, was more concerned with their faces. All of them. Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Elissa, Christian and Alice. They all looked even more perfect than my human memories told me.

I straightened from my crouch.

I was momentarily preoccupied by the way my body moved. The instant I considered straightening, I already had. The change was instantaneous.

Jasper slowly took a step forward.

"Bella?" He asked in a low, calming tone, but the worry in his voice was evident. His voice sounded different, much more beautiful than ever before. Of course, I knew his voice had always been the same, I just hadn't been able to hear it well.

"Bella? I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're alright. Everything is fine."

Was it? Of course not. There's still Edward to deal with. I could hear others in the house and part of me knew there was no way Edward would give up with this little of a fight.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Christian asked.

I considered it for a fraction of a second as I turned my attention to him. My god, he was even more handsome than I thought. Good thing breathing was no longer an absolute necessity. And no more blushing. I smiled at that before I answered.

"Overwhelmed. There's so _much_…" I trailed off. Listening to the sound of my voice. It sounded so different. It rang and shimmered like a bell, this would definitely take some getting used to.

"Yes, it can be quite confusing."

I nodded. "But I still feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that."

"You are quite controlled," Carlisle mused. "More so than_ I_ expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this."

I turned my attention to him. I'd never seen Calisle's face like this before either. I had an odd urge to blink, like I was staring at the sun.

"I'm not sure about that." I answered, thinking about my mind going a mile a minute.

"Your thirst must be uncomfortable." Jasper interrupted my thoughts. He was looking rather wary of me.

Until he'd mentioned it, the thirst actually wasn't unmanageable. There was so much room in my head. A separate part of my brain was keeping tabs on the burn in my throat, almost like a reflex. But suddenly the dry ache was all I could think about. My hand flew up to cup my throat, like I could smother the flames from the outside. The skin of my neck was strange beneath my fingers. So smooth it was somehow soft, though it was hard as stone, too.

"Let's hunt, Bella." Christian said. Me? Hunt? With Christian? But… how? I didn't know what to do.

He read the alarm in my expression and smiled at me again. I remembered that smile. "It's quite easy. Instinctual. Don't worry, Jasper and I will show you."

Why was I going hunting with them? Some part of me still thought of Edward taking me to do this for the first time. But I shut that thought off as quickly as I could when I saw Jaspers expression. He was obviously monitoring my emotions.

"How are you doing it?" Jasper asked suddenly.

"Doing what?"

"Controlling your emotions Bella," He answered. "I've never seen a newborn do that, stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw my concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it."

"Is that wrong?" I asked.

"No," He said, though he didn't exactly sound so sure. "It's very impressive, but I don't understand it. I don't know how long it can hold."

Was he right? Could I snap at any moment?

"Shall we?" Christian asked.

* * *

><p>Hunting was quite easy. Both Jasper and Christian had showed me how to hunt before they sent me after some elk. Though there wasn't a lot left of my clothes I had enjoyed myself. Hunting was fun!<p>

I was laughing with Christian as he made a joke about my table manners when the wind shifted. I didn't stop to think, hurtling out of the trees, scaring the remaining elk back into the forest, racing after a new fragrance so attractive that there wasn't a choice.

The scent ruled completely. I was single-minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst and the smell that promised to quench it. The thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts and began to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins.

I was suddenly alert to the fact that I was being followed. The pull of the irresistible scent warred with the impulse to turn and defend myself and my hunt. A hiss left my mouth, my lips pulled back of their own accord to expose my teeth in warning. My feet slowed, the need to protect my back struggling against the desire to quench my thirst.

And then I could hear my pursuers gaining, there were two of them. Defence won. As I spun around a feral snarl ripped its way up my throat and out. It was so unexpected that it brought me up short. it unsettled me, and it cleared my head for a second. The thirst-driven haze receded.

The wind changed, further freeing me from the scent's fiery grip.

Jasper and Christian hesitated a few feet away, arms raised as if to restrain me. Their faces were intent and cautious as I froze, horrified.

I had been about to attack them. With a hard jerk, I straightened out of my defensive crouch. I held my breath as I refocused.

Jasper could see, and probably sense, reason returning to my face and took a step forward. I briefly wondered if he used his gift on me.

"I have to get away from here." I spit out through my teeth.

Shock crossed his face. "_Can_ you leave?"

I didn't have time to ask him what he meant by that. I burst into a run again, concentrating solely on the uncomfortable feeling of sensory deprivation that seemed to be my body's only response to the lack of air. My one goal was to run far enough away that the scent behind me would be completely lost.

I was aware of being followed, again. But this time I was sane. I stopped running when I knew I had almost run all the way back home.

"How did you do that?" Jasper demanded as he came to a stop next to me.

"Run away? I held my breath."

"But how did you stop hunting?" Christian asked me, coming to a stop on the other side of me.

"When both of you came up behind me… I'm so sorry about that."

"Why are you apologizing to _us_? We're the ones who were careless. We assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but we should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! _You_ have nothing to apologize for." Christian told me.

"But I growled at you!" I was still horrified by this. I couldn't believe I would do something like that to Jasper and Christian. Especially Christian, I'm pretty sure I owe him my life. Or non-life. However you want to see it.

"Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away." Jasper said.

"What else could I do?" I asked. Their attitudes were confusing me. What did they want to have happened?

"You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so… so rational. You shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with us calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should _not_ have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that, we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you're decades rather than hours old."

I frowned. "Well yeah, but that's because of you right? I mean, you must have calmed me down or something during my hunt, or whenever I got upset… Haven't you?"

"No Bella. I haven't." He sighed. "It wasn't necessary to calm you when you got upset, you did that yourself. And when I tried when you took off like that… I couldn't. I couldn't even read your emotions anymore, let alone influence you. It just seemed to bounce off of you." He was frowning now. Obviously the prospect of not being able to calm the newborn made him uncomfortable.

"So that was all me?" I clarified.

"Yes Bella, it was."

"Wow…" I trailed off. "Wait, does that mean my shield is still there? It must be different if it can keep you out now too."

Jasper nodded with a slight grin.

I was getting excited. " I can't believe it! I have a real gift! That is so cool."

Jasper grimaced. "Yeah, cool. Just not entirely useful at the moment."

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I'll try not to keep you out. Though I haven't got a clue how I kept you out in the first place. Can you feel my emotions now?"

"Yes, now everything seems fine."

"Maybe we should get back now. We've fed and I think we've tempted fate enough for one day, don't you guys?" Christian said.

Jasper nodded. "Good idea. Then we can talk with Eleazar and Carlisle about your gift. Maybe they can give more insight."

I shrugged. "Sounds good to me. Let's race back!"

And we took off running. I love running. It had frightened me when I was human, now, it just felt amazing.

_You did really good today Bell_

Christian. I snapped my head around to look at him. He grinned at me. He really was gorgeous. My human eyes hadn't done him justice.

_I'm glad you can still hear me_

I beamed at him and nodded.

* * *

><p>When we got back to the house, I was immediately intercepted by Alice. With a mirror.<p>

"Bella, you have to see yourself. I want to see your expression when you look in the mirror for the first time!"

She held up the mirror to me. I really didn't know if I wanted to see myself. What if I was still just as plain as I'd always been?

Alice didn't give me the chance to look away though.

When I looked in the mirror my first reaction was unthinking pleasure. The creature in the glass was indisputably beautiful. She was fluid in stillness, and her flawless face was pale against the frame of her dark, heavy mahogany hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly. Her breasts were more rounded and larger than they had been and her hips flared more than they ever did. Giving her an hourglass shape. She looked like a woman, not a 19 year old girl.

My second reaction was horror. Was this _me_? At first I couldn't find my face anywhere in the smooth, perfect planes of her features. And her eyes! Though I had known to expect them, her eyes still sent a thrill of terror through me.

"So? What do you think Bella, you're absolutely gorgeous don't you think?" Alice asked, beaming at me. I appreciated the sentiment, but was still horrified by my eyes, I couldn't look away from the woman in the mirror.

Then her full lips moved. "The eyes?" I whispered. I could not bring myself to say _my_ eyes. "How long?"

"They'll darken in a few months," Carlisle said softly. I hadn't even noticed him coming outside with us. "Animal blood dilutes the colour more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold."

"Months?" My voice was higher now, stressed.

Jasper stepped forward, but not in front of Alice as I had expected. In fact, when I thought about it, I hadn't seen them interact once since I woke up to this life. When we had left to hunt, I had seen Christian say goodbye to Elissa, promising her he would stay safe and protect me. I had been touched by the exchange. But Jasper hadn't gone to Alice. In fact, Alice had stayed on the couch and ignored our leaving and he hadn't approached her. Was there something wrong? Was there something I missed? It didn't seem right.

Jasper looked more and more alarmed.

_Are you alright beautiful? _

I smiled at Christian. "I'm fine," I promised them. My eyes flickered back to the mirror. "It's just a lot to take in."

* * *

><p>We had move into the living room and Jasper was telling everyone of my first hunt. I knew he would eventually tell them about my gift, but I wasn't so sure I wanted everyone to know.<p>

I was ignoring the glares Tanya sent my way and the way Edward hadn't taken his eyes off of me. I didn't like the glint in them. In fact I didn't like _him_ at all at the moment. I couldn't remember exactly what had happened in the moments before my change but I knew it was Edward's fault I had gotten hurt.

I suddenly realised that I wanted to know what happened. I cut Jasper off mid-sentence. He had already told them about me running away, so I figured he'd told them the important parts anyway.

"What happened?"

Everyone was frowning at me.

_What exactly are you talking about, Bell?_

I liked that Christian kept talking to me mentally. It seemed to always make me smile.

"I mean, what happened when I was changed. I remember parts of it, but not all. I… I know I found out about Edward and Tanya. I know Edward and I were fighting. I know I called off the engagement and I know Edward was hurting me… shaking me? I think… Then he threw me, like a ragdoll. What happened?"

Edward was glaring daggers at me. Like anything I said wasn't true.

Everyone else looked pained, no one would meet my eyes.

_I'm so sorry I couldn't help you in time. I never thought he would do something so violent._

Elissa sighed. "He didn't just throw you away from him Bella. He threw you hard enough that you went through the wall." She pointed to a piece of the wall next to the television.

"Emmett and Rosalie fixed it for Esme. Keeping up appearances and all. Either way, everyone rushed outside to get to you, but you had blacked out. I have to tell you, I was completely terrified. I thought you were dying!" She had grabbed my hand and I could see the venom in her eyes.

"Actually you were." Carlisle cut in.

Elissa turned to him with a glare. "Yes, so you said. You started coming to when Carlisle was examining you. It was bad. If you hadn't been turned, you would be dead."

I just stared at her. For some reason, I had known that, but it had never quite sunk in. I could have died. Edward could have killed me.

"So what happened next?"

"You reminded me of our conversation, remember? Just that afternoon you had told me that even without Edward, you still wanted to be a vampire. Edward didn't want that though. He and I literally fought about it. He tore off my finger actually."

"What? Are you alright?" Then it hit me. Edward didn't want me changed? He wanted me to die? What the hell is wrong with him?

"I'm fine, Bella. Anyway. I told Carlisle to change you, since it was what you wanted. Edward disagreed, he thought you would be better off dead. Something about your soul. So, Carlisle refused to change you, he said it was Edward's decision."

I snapped my head around to Carlisle and I remembered. It wasn't much, just a vague image of him hovering over me and backing away. I was horrified. He would have let me die! Then I remembered Christian's voice. He had turned me.

"That's why you did it. That's why you're the one that changed me. The rest of them wanted me dead." I could feel the venom pooling in my eyes and stood up. I was absolutely horrified. My family, the man I wanted to marry and the man I saw as my father had preferred me dead, refused to safe my life, to change me, like I wanted.

I rushed over to were Christian was standing against the wall and threw myself in his arms. "Thank you! Thank you so much. Thank you." I kept muttering it to him.

He was shocked at my embracing him at first, then I saw him smile and I felt him wrap his arms around me.

_Anytime Bell, anytime. I will always be here for you._

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><p><strong>AN: Please leave me a review, thanks!**


	9. 8 Visions

**A/N: It's getting harder to write this. I know where I want the story to go, I have the outlines. But getting the acutal writing done is becoming more difficult. The inspirition seems to be waning. So I really hope you all like this chapter and I could really use some feedback. See if I should continue posting this? I'll finish it either way, but I could just make it a short story and end it in the next chapter with a pretty much open ending, or continue on as I wanted (which should be a lot of fun, with some twists and maybe my very first lemon). Let me know what you would all prefer!**

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review, just please no flames.**

**Next update will be March 16**

****D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related ****

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><p><strong>8. Visions<strong>

"_That's why you did it. That's why you're the one that changed me. The rest of them wanted me dead." I could feel the venom pooling in my eyes and stood up. I was absolutely horrified. My family, the man I wanted to marry and the man I saw as my father had both wanted me dead. Refused to safe my life, to change me like I wanted._

_I rushed over to where Christian was standing against the wall and threw myself in his arms. "Thank you! Thank you so much. Thank you." I kept muttering it to him. _

_He was shocked at my embracing him at first, then I saw him smile and I felt him wrap his arms around me._

Anytime Bell, anytime. I will always be here for you.

* * *

><p>I looked up at him, slightly shocked at this admission. But his smile made me smile, as usual. Granted, it wasn't exactly a happy one at the moment, but still… a smile is a smile.<p>

My happier moment was rudely interrupted by Edward, of course.

"Get your hands off my fiancée."

I turned back to him. Complete shock on my face. "What?"

"Step away from Thaine and get over here Bella." Thaine? Oh, Christian. Since when does Edward refer to him with his last name? I was so busy pondering this, how much I liked the name and where the name had originated from, that I didn't notice Edward's temper rising.

"Bella! Get over here now!"

Then my temper flared in response to his. I couldn't believe it, I was now a vampire, not thanks to him, and he still thought he could boss me around. Well, think again Eddie.

"Shut your mouth Edward." I told him in the coldest tone I could manage. "I will hug whoever I want to. I will talk to whoever I want to. Hell I could do a whole lot more than talking with anyone I want. We. Are. Over. Edward. That, I didn't forget. I ended our engagement, _before_ you killed me."

Edward, who had looked angrier the more I spoke, suddenly reared back. Almost like I had slapped him. I smirked. "Yeah, _killed_ me. If you hadn't thrown me through that wall, I would still be a living, breathing human." I tilted my head to the side. "I suppose I owe you a thank you for that. At least I finally got what I wanted." I glanced from Edward to Carlisle. "_Not_ thanks to any Cullen though."

"Bella, please. Don't be so hard on Edward. He was only looking out for you, for your soul. You know his views on the subject. And now that you are changed, nothing is standing in the way of you two spending forever together." Carlisle spoke to me in a rational sounding voice. I couldn't believe what he was saying though.

"What? Don't be _hard_ on Edward? He wanted me dead! All of you wanted me dead!" I started sobbing, it just hurt so much to realise this. Christian, who was still standing behind me wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. It wasn't really working too great. "If you think I will be with a boy who preferred me dead than you are very wrong."

"He is not a boy!" Tanya erupted. "Edward is _all_ man…" As she said this she managed to look at Edward in a sultry way and glare at me at the same time. It really was kind of impressive.

"Thank you, Tanya. And this whole discussion really is unnecessary. Now that my Bella is changed, the only issue this family has to deal with is Thaine over there. He is a liability. He doesn't take orders. And he doesn't listen. It was _not_ his place to turn my Bella. We can not afford to keep allowing him to stay here." Edward managed to sound both highhanded and absolutely murderous. Probably because Christian still had his arms around me. Which was something I didn't have any intention of changing at the moment. Aside from the fact that I loved this pissed off Edward, it felt really nice. I was ignoring the fact that he still refers to me as _his_.

"I agree." This from Tanya. Of course. I didn't get it. Edward was still trying to have me as _his_, wasn't that the complete opposite from her own goal? "Carmen, Eleazar, Kate, Irina, I think it is time Christian and his sister find their own way. They have outstayed their welcome."

Every Denali except Irina looked shocked. But, Tanya was their coven leader, in the end, this was her decision. I saw Elissa looked both horrified and relieved. I knew she wasn't happy living with the Denali's, but I also knew she didn't want to be with just her brother again. I held out my hand to her and she rushed over to me and held my hand while Christian wrapped one of his arms around her. And in this moment I knew, if they were leaving, I would go with them. If they wanted me.

"This isn't how it was supposed to happen!" Alice suddenly shrieked. "I didn't see it. How could I not see it? What changed? I just didn't see this." She was muttering.

"Didn't see what?" asked Emmett.

She must have had a vision, I'm guessing she saw the family without me. Wait.

Alice.

She sees everyone's decisions. She knows everything. Well, almost everything, not if Elissa is involved. But still. She had to have known. At one point or another, she would have seen something from Edward of Tanya. She _had_ to have known.

I stepped away from Christian and Elissa, a cold dread filling me. "Alice?" I asked as calmly as possible. She turned to me with an anguished expression.

"Alice, how long?"

She started sobbing and looked down into her lap. "I… I don't know what you're talking about…" Bullshit.

"Yes, Alice, you do." I gritted out through my teeth. "There is no way you didn't know about the affair! You had to have known about all Edward's so called 'hunting trips'. There's no way you never say _anything_."

She started sobbing harder. "No…no, no, no, no."

"Tell me!" I shrieked at her.

She finally looked back up at me. "I'm _so_ sorry Bella." I reared back from her. She really had known. She was supposed to be my best friend, some part of me still wouldn't accept the fact that she had helped my fiancée cheat on me, helped him hide it from me. "Please Bella, I'm so sorry. I knew." Her eyes darted around the room, looking for someone to help her.

Neither Edward nor Tanya would meet her eyes. The Denali's didn't offer any sympathy. Neither did the Thaine's. Rosalie glared at her. I guess, even though she had never liked me, she was upset that my so called best friend had hidden something like this from me. Especially since it was something that would have gotten me off the going-to-be-a-vampire track. Emmett looked downright murderous, while Carlisle was looking only mildly disappointed, like she'd missed her curfew or something. And Esme looked grief stricken. Stuck between angry at her for hurting me, and the urge to comfort her sobbing daughter.

But Jasper was the surprise. He was sitting nowhere near her, again, this seemed strange. And he looked just plain _pissed_.

Alice closed her eyes like she had given up. "I'm sorry Bella." She told me again.

"Why? Why would you do this to me?" I just didn't get it.

"Because I saw the outcome. If I had told you, you would have left him, left us. I wouldn't have a best friend anymore. Edward would be miserable and hate me forever. And you, you wouldn't be a part of the family. But if I kept it from you, you would become a vampire." She looked at me. Then to Christian, frowned, and turned back to me. "I never saw how you were changed, I never saw Christian. I only saw one vision of you. Hunting. I have had that vision for a long time, and keeping this from you was the only way I could find to make sure it happened. You were never supposed to find out about Tanya and she would never be with Edward."

Tanya snarled. "What? What do you mean Edward won't be with me?" She turned to me with pitch black eyes. "This is all your fault. If it weren't for you, he would be mine!"

Then she lunged.

* * *

><p>The fight was over almost before it started. It lasted maybe 50 seconds.<p>

I won.

Well, I suppose you could say no one won since Jasper calmed us down and he and Carlisle ended the fight. But, I had managed to do some damage while Tanya never even got her hands on me. I, however, had ripped her arm off.

Never mess with the newborn.

This did however make me realise that I may be a vampire and therefore far stronger than any human, other vampires were still a threat. Especially after my newborn strength wanes. At some point, I am going to have to get someone to teach me how to fight.

Christian and Elissa came up next to me while I was thinking this over. I was watching Tanya out of the corner of my eye fusing her arm back on by the kitchen doorway.

_You're a natural you know. Never seen someone with such a natural talent._ He smiled at me. _You should have seen the first time I trained Elissa. It was hilarious. _He flashed me image after image of Elissa attacking him and ending on her butt, in a tree, in a lake and landing on her face.

I smiled at him. He always did seem to know just what to say. "Thanks." I told him.

My speaking aloud grabbed the attention of the other vampires in the room.

"I'm sorry Bella." Jasper came up to me and grasped both of my hands in his. "I had no idea this was going on or that Alice was hiding something from you. Heck, I didn't even realise she was hiding something this big from me." He looked pained. "I mean, she has always hidden things from me. I figured it comes with seeing the future you know. I just didn't know she kept these kinds of big things from me. I didn't know…" He made 'hmmph' noise. "Some empath I am." And started shaking his head.

"No Jasper." I lifted my hands from his and hugged him. I had never done that before. I was never 'allowed' to be this close to him. I was going to have to change that now that I'm a vampire and have no more wardens. "This is not your fault, you hear me? No one blames you for this, least of all me. And you are a great empath, she's just an exceptional liar." I pulled away from him.

He smiled at me. I think it was the first time he has ever done that. "Thanks darlin'." A southern drawl. Never heard that either… Hmmm. Kind of sexy.

Damn it. Empath.

He smirked at me and I slapped his arm. "Oh get off it. Just wasn't expecting that drawl."

He laughed fully now.

Alice seemed to have noticed the lighter atmosphere and decided to come up to me again. She smiled tentatively.

I sighed. "I'm sorry Alice." Her smile broadened. I held up my hand before she got the wrong idea. "You were my best friend. I trusted you. The minute you found out Edward was having an affair you should have told me. As my best friend you should have told me! You chose being his sister over being my friend. And I can't forgive this. I know that you did it because you wanted me to stay in the family. I know you didn't do it to cause me more pain. But you did. It just hurts so much that not only has the boy I loved been lying to me, but also the girl who was my best friend, my sister. I'm sorry Alice, but I can't be your friend anymore. I just can't get over this."

She started sobbing and I hugged her. I was going to miss her. Despite all her crazy quarks, her shopping trips and makeovers. Despite the lying. She was my very first best friend.

"You know, now that I'm a vampire, we have forever. Who knows, maybe in a couple hundred years, we'll be able to try being friends again."

She stepped away from me with a small smile. "I hope so." Then she turned and ran out the door.

I just looked after her until there was no sign of her left.

"Well, now that that has been taken care of, we should get back to the matter at hand. Getting Thaine away from this family and my Bella."

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	10. 9 Keeping It a Secret

**A/N: I would like to thank everybody who has left a review. It means so much to me and I love hearing what you think. ****I'm sorry this update was a little later than usual. **

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review!**

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><p><strong>9. Keeping It a Secret<strong>

"_Well, now that that has been taken care of, we should get back to the matter at hand. Getting Thaine away from this family and my Bella." _

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><p>I am really getting sick of this <em>my Bella <em>crap. And how dare he keep insulting Christian like this? Has Edward just completely lost his mind? What part of volatile newborn did he not understand? Had he not just seen me tear off Tanya's arm? What, he thought that since I had loved him, I wouldn't hurt him? Think again, Eddie. Hah, that seems to be the theme of the day.

My new mind really was amazing. I was thinking all of these things as I war soaring through the living room. I landed on Edward and took him down with my momentum.

I had him face down on the floor with my hands around his neck in a matter of mere seconds. I really could get used to this. Although I probably shouldn't have resorted to violence… But then again, I have the perfect excuse for the moment.

"Bella, love, what are you doing? I am trying to save you!"

"Edward, for once in your life, just shut up and let the adults handle this. And by adult I mean those of us who have reached the physical age of 18."

He growled.

"What? You are only 17. One can not assume that you have such things as proper manners. Like not insulting a guest. Especially one that has managed to save my life. I mean, you are acting like a sulking teenager Edward. Just because you didn't get your way, doesn't mean you have to act like this."

"Bella! Stop insinuating I am not a man, we both know I am. And let me up right this instant."

"I will, but only if you promise to drop this. Stop trying to get rid of Christian. And stop insisting that I am yours. I'm not."

"Love-"

"Stop that!" I interrupted him. "We. Are. Over."

He growled again. "Fine, I will no longer insist Christian leaves."

I let him up and immediately darted back to the other side of the room. Being in close proximity to Edward was not something I desired any longer.

Edward got back up. He was staring at me intently, it was unnerving me. He had this glint in his eyes… I decided to ignore him as I was hoping someone would change the subject to something other than Christian or this little fight between me and Edward. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed I had let my emotions control me like that.

Esme smiled at me reassuringly. I smiled back and pleaded with my eyes to get her to say something. Anything.

Elissa saved me.

"So, any idea what Alice might have seen before she left? Edward? You're supposed to be the mindreader here."

He gave Elissa a sharp look. "It was nothing of importance."

"So you did see it? What was the vision? It obviously was not what Alice had expected."

Edward sighed. "Like I said, not important. It was just a vision of Christmas. Well, several Christmases. Bella was not in any of them." He stared at me now. "It doesn't matter. Her visions are based on decisions. All it takes is for someone to change their mind and everything changes. I have made up my mind. Bella stays with the family no matter what."

I was so angry at the moment, I thought there would be smoke coming out my ears. But before I could respond, Emmett did.

"Would you stop it Edward. Bella decides where she will live and with who. Now I want her to stay with us just as much as you do, but I would completely understand if she decides she can't stand to be anywhere near you. It is her decision." He looked at me now. "Bells, you will always be my sister. No matter where you live."

I melted. "Oh Emmett!" I ran up to him and he gave me one of his bear hugs. "You will always be my brother to. No matter what." We were smiling these silly grins at each other when Rosalie came closer. She did not look happy, in fact she was glaring.

But not at us. I turned to see who she was upset with. Edward. He was standing there with clenched fists, gritted teeth and pitch black eyes. "Stay out of this Eddie. They're family and it has nothing to do with you anymore. You hurt either one of them, and I will make sure it is the last thing you do."

Wow, Rosalie was standing up for me. I mean… wow.

Emmett pulled her over closer to us so we were now in an awkward three person hug while still looking, or glaring as the case may be, at Edward.

He snarled.

Then he ran off. It was after all, something he was good at.

I sighed in relief.

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><p>Everyone had calmed down some. Thank god. Neither Alice nor Edward had returned to the house. While I was some what concerned about Alice, I was really hoping Edward would stay gone a little longer.<p>

"So, Bella… Do you have any idea as to why the future changed? From what Alice said, something happened that changed everything." Esme asked me tentatively.

I squirmed in my seat. I wasn't really sure I wanted to tell everyone. What if Christian and Elissa didn't even want me to come with them?

I looked at Elissa who was sitting right next to me. She gave me one of her bright reassuring smiles and grabbed my hand.

I sighed before I answered. "Yes. I do have an idea as to why things changed. Right before Alice had her visions, I made a decision."

I looked around the room. It seemed even the Denali's were somewhat interested. I ended up looking at Christian.

_Come on Bell, don't keep us in suspense any longer! What decision did you make?_

He was smiling broadly at me. I didn't really get it, just a little while ago, someone was attacking him. Accusing him of being a danger to everyone here. And here he was, leaning against that wall as though he didn't have a care in the world. The accusations seemed to just not touch him somehow. I wish I could be more like that. I was in the business of making everything personal. I cared about what everyone thought of me. I was always so self-conscious…

I wave of confidence washed over me and I looked at Jasper. He was standing next to Christian but was not leaning against the wall. He was standing tall with his arms crossed and he looked completely focused. I wonder what is going on with him? His mate just ran off and here he is. He doesn't exactly seem fine, but I wouldn't describe him as heartbroken either…

Elissa squeezed my hand, reminding me that everyone was waiting for my answer.

"Uhm, well…I just… I mean it wasn't… I…" I sighed before I started over.

"You were talking about sending Christian and Elissa off on their own. And, I talked to Elissa and she didn't like being with just her brother. Because it was so much harder to stick to the diet." I rushed to add.

"And, I mean, I was standing there with the man who saved my life and the woman I consider my sister and I decided that if they had to leave, I would go with them. If they wanted me to."

Elissa squealed and hugged me so hard, if I'd still been human I would have been completely crushed.

Christian came up to us, kneeled in front of me and grabbed my hands.

"Bell, if you want to come with us, we would be honoured to have you." He looked solemn and I smiled hesitantly.

_It would make us both so happy Bell. I would love to show you the world, we could go back to England, show you were Elissa and I were born! And we have to see Amsterdam. We spent decades there and it is the most amazing place. Oh, and Paris! You have to see Paris, it's_-

I cut him off by hugging him. I just threw myself at him. He made an oomph sound as Elissa did the same. We ended up sprawled on the floor laughing our asses off.

"You want to leave us Bella?"

Well if that wasn't like a bucket of ice water. Suddenly the laughing stopped. I saw Esme and she was looking at me with eyes swimming with tears that couldn't fall. She looked heartbroken.

I rushed over to her. "I'm sorry Esme. I have to find my own place in this world and I don't think it is here. Edward belongs here. I don't. But I promise I will keep in touch. And visit! I promise."

"It's alright Bella. You're right. You do need to find the place you belong. I just think that it's here. With us. But if you need to run off and see the world before you realize what I already know, that's fine. One day, we will welcome you back here, welcome you home. You will always have a place with us."

I hugged her, being careful of my newborn strength. I wanted to hug her as hard as I could, but that wouldn't exactly be smart at the moment. I didn't agree with her. I didn't think this was where I was supposed to be. But who knows. It was nice to know that I could always come back here. "Thank you Esme."

Eleazar cleared his throat, completely unnecessary of course. Maybe it was a human habit?

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think it is time for a lighter subject. I would like to talk to you about your shield Bella."

"My shield?"

"Yes, I'm sure you still have it. You see, my gift isn't working as it should."

"Your gift? What exactly is your gift?"

"Oh, I can see the gifts in others. But with you I can't."

"Doesn't that just mean I don't have one?" I knew I did. I just wasn't comfortable with everyone here knowing this about me. Especially since Tanya was still sitting in a corner glaring at me.

Eleazar smiled at me. And again it was condescendingly. He was really starting to bug me. I am not a child, nor am I stupid. I glared at him and he looked taken aback by it.

"Well, no. It's like there is a whole. You see, if someone doesn't have a gift, there is just nothing extra to see. But with you, there is something to see, but it is like it black out what it is. There is just some kind of black whole where your gift should be."

"Huh. So I can still keep Edward out? Obviously Alice's visions work and Jasper sent me some emotions earlier and that obviously works fine. And Christian talked to me just like he did before."

Eleazar looked extremely disappointed by this. "Well, it seems your shield hasn't grown with your turn then. I really did believe it would…"

I suddenly realised that was probably the only reason he had stayed through my turn. He wanted to know what my gift was and how useful it would be. What would he have wanted with me if he knew my gift _had_ expanded? I really don't want to find out.

I shot both Jasper and Christian warning looks. I did not want them to say anything about my gift.

Carlisle interrupted my musings. "Well, it really it too bad Bella. A shield is very valuable. One of the most sought after gifts. I know Aro has been searching the world for decades to find a powerful one. Oh well, maybe your gift will grow once you are more in control… In the mean time, we still have to deal with your turn."

I was staring at him horrified. He hadn't really said anything, but he definitely implied that Aro would want me. Especially if my gift grew. And both Carlisle and Eleazar were close with the Volturi. They'll tell them about me, and my gift. If Aro decides he wants me…

Damn it. And what was that about dealing with my turn?

"What do you mean, we have to deal with my turn?"

"Well, we should fake your death. I think that would be the safest option."

"What? I have been gone for days, and you didn't tell my dad anything? No cover story whatsoever? I was just gone?"

"He thinks you have gone to New York with Edward and Alice."

"Why would I ever go to New York?"

Rosalie smirked at me. "Shopping of course. We all know it is your favourite hobby."

"Yeah right. Everyone who knows me, know I have a severe dislike for shopping."

Carlisle got things back on track again. "It doesn't matter. We need to set up her death. Maybe a car accident on the way home? It needs to be in a way that the family is not implicated at all. Emmett, can you handle the technicalities?"

Technicalities. The technicalities of my death. I really did not want to be here for this conversation.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just can't sit here and listen to you all discussing how best to kill me. I can't actually help anyway, being a newborn and all. And seeing as I'm supposed to die. I can't be seen by anyone. So, I'm just going to go upstairs and take a shower. Hunting made me really messy and… I just really need a shower."

"Of course Bells! We'll take care of everything. You just relax little sis."

"Thank you Emmett. Thanks all of you. I'll just leave you to it."

I headed upstairs pretending I couldn't hear everything that was being said in the living room. I really didn't want to think about all of this.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank your for reading and please leave me a review to let me know what you think!**


	11. 10 Comfort

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who is still reading. Writing is becoming more and more difficult. I can't seem to find the time. I have the next chapters planned out, but I can't seem to find the time to actually sit down to write them. So I won't be publishing every week. If you want to know when the next chapter is up, please put this story under you story alert. I'm sorry, but RL is kind of getting in the way these next few weeks. I will be publishing as often as I can and I promise I am not abandoning this story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related.**

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><p><strong>10 Comfort<strong>

That shower was probably the best one I had had in ages. The water just felt so warm. I didn't ever want to leave. Leaving meant dealing with my 'death' and the family and Edward and Alice and… I sighed. I couldn't continue thinking like this. Everything would be fine, I just have to get it together now. I'll just deal with one thing at a time.

As a I been contemplating the state my life was in at the moment, I had wrapped myself in a towel and made my way back to the guestroom I was using. And I was very glad I was still wearing it and it covered all the important bits, because seconds after that the door opened. Without turning around I spoke, I figured maybe Esme or Rosalie had come up to give me some clean clothes. I really should have gotten those myself before I had my shower.

"I hope you've brought me some clothes. I'd really like to change into something other than my hunting outfit, there really isn't much left of it…" I turned around and stopped dead.

Edward.

It was Edward, not Esme or Rosalie, Edward. And he did not seem to be in the business of handing me any clothes. Judging by the pitch black eyes that were currently scanning my legs, he would prefer me without clothes. And without the towel.

I clutched the towel against my chest, at the same time making sure I had wrapped it properly and it wouldn't fall off if I let it go. I did not want that…

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see you my love." His eyes shot up to mine at the curse word. "There are some things we need to discuss. And it seems I have some lessons to teach you." He growled the last part and I automatically stepped back from him. Unfortunately this meant I had stepped closer to the bed that was behind me.

"What are you talking about? Just leave me alone. I have had it with all this shit Edward. You are driving me crazy, what part of 'no' do you not understand?"

And he was on me. I had hardly seen him coming but suddenly he had me pressed into the bed. He pushed his leg between mine to separate them. Then his hands began drifting down my body, reaching the bottom of my towel. He started pushing his hands up under it. I stared into his eyes, they were still incredibly black. There was nothing of the Edward I had known left in those eyes. There was just a glint, the only word I could find to describe it would be evil. It was an evil glint.

Lucky for me that was when the shock wore off. Realising what that look and his actions meant, my instincts started. I let out a scream thrust my body upwards. I pushed him off my and to the floor. I punched him in the jaw as hard as I could. His head reared back so fast I almost didn't see it. There were fissures in his skin. I was staring at them when he tried to punch me back. I saw his hand coming though and grabbed hold of it, set my teeth into his wrist, and bit.

I severed his hand and jumped off of him. He started howling in pain and the door burst open. Jasper rushed in. And man, was I grateful the towel had survived.

Jasper snarled. "What the fuck do you think you are doing in here little boy?" He demanded from Edward.

Edward didn't answer though, he was clutching his arm to his chest and making pained noises.

I answered for him. "He came up here to teach me a lesson."

Jasper was sending waves of absolute fury into the room as he looked between me and Edward. Then suddenly the waves stopped. "Well, looks to me like _you're_ the one that taught _him_ a lesson, darlin'."

I smirked despite the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Yeah, I think he forgot I am no longer human, and stronger than him. At least for the time being."

Edward chose that moment to join in the conversation. "You bitch! You will pay for that!"

He jumped and raced to the window, where I had dropped his hand. He turned to me once he had his hand back. "Mark my words Isabella. You. Are. Mine. And I will do whatever I want with you. You will not be leaving me, or this family. Ever. And if you do, I _will_ find you. And make you regret ever disobeying me." Then he jumped out of the window.

I fell to the floor as his words sunk in. Oh my God. He's crazy. He wants to hold me as some kind of prisoner. I started sobbing. Oh my God. I am never going to be safe.

Arms wrapped around me and I was pulled against a hard chest. Jasper was trying to comfort me, I could hear him whispering soothing words into my ear. He started rocking us.

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><p>I'm not sure how long we had been sitting there, but it seemed like a long time. He helped me though. So much.<p>

"Thank you." I whispered.

"You're welcome." He whispered back.

I pulled back from him to look in his eyes. They were completely calm. "No, I mean it. Thank you so much for sitting with me like this. I know you could have handled me differently. You could have used your powers or gotten Esme or Elissa or someone else. But you just sat with me. I needed that. So thank you, so much."

He leaned his forehead against mine. Our faces so close together. "You're welcome Bella. I think I needed this just as much as you did."

I pulled back from him a little. "Are you ok? Do you want to talk about it? Because I'm here for you Jasper. If you need anything, ever, I'm here."

He pulled me back into him and hugged me.

"I know Bella, I know." I heard him breathing heavily into my hair as he started rocking us again.

I didn't think he would talk to me, but he did. "I left Alice."

I wanted to be shocked. To be completely surprised and ask him why on earth he would do that. But I wasn't shocked, or surprised. I had noticed things between them seemed different. They were never together anymore. He didn't say goodbye to her before he left to go hunting. He didn't protect her from the newborn vampire, me, anymore than the rest of the family. He didn't jump up to help her when she shared her visions and it everyone, including me, was judging her. And he didn't follow her when she ran off.

I started stroking my hand up and down his back. Trying to soothe him as he had me just moments ago. We stayed like that, silent, for a while.

Then he pulled back so we could look at each other. "It wasn't because of this. I just, I realized she wasn't my mate years ago. I know she always told everyone, including me, that we were. But I knew. I knew because I could feel what mates felt for each other. And I could feel what Alice felt for me. It was not the same. It didn't even come close. Don't get me wrong, she loved me, and I loved her, but we weren't mates. It wasn't strong enough for that. I pretended I didn't know. She was happier that way. And I was just, I was so happy to feel her emotions. To feel her happiness. To be with a family instead of an army. I know the Cullens aren't perfect. And I have contemplated leaving at least ten times a year since I met them. But it was better than what I had. So much better…"

"You deserve to be happy Jasper, not just better than absolutely miserable."

He smiled at me wryly. "Thanks darlin'. I hope some day I'll find that."

"So, if you don't mind me asking, why did you leave Alice now? You stayed with her all this time, knowing she's not your mate. Why leave now?"

He sighed. "Life with Alice isn't easy. Her visions make everything more difficult. I was slowly losing myself. I mean, look at me! When I look in the mirror I no longer recognize myself. I was always a simple man. Jeans, t-shirt and boots. Now I wear kaki's, pullovers, vests, jackets, watches, hair gel, loafers and whatever else Alice wants me to wear. Instead of choosing my own clothes, she told me what I would be wearing. Because she had _seen_ it. And it was like that with everything. I think I stopped makin' my own decisions a long time ago. I kind of just looked into the mirror one day and realised she was controlling me."

"I'm so sorry Jasper, I know how horrible that feels."

"Yeah, you do. You kind of helped me realise it. Watching you around Edward made me realise I was the same around Alice. And that time you told him to back off, that gave me the strength to finally look at myself closely. I put everything together and just decided it wasn't worth it. I think I'll be taking off. I don't want to be around Alice for a while."

"Do you think she did it on purpose?"

He seemed to think about his answer. "No, not really. Her gift is a difficult thing to live with. It's so powerful, it must be hard to know which lines you should, and which you shouldn't cross. I know she still struggles with her gift. She makes it look to everyone like she has everything in control, but I know she feels powerless half the time. She has to decide what to share and what not to share. She sees every consequence of every decision. And she tends to choose her actions based on what those consequences are, not on what she wants to do, or what she feels is right. She struggles every day, alone." He shrugged. "She never completely trusted me, which makes sense since I'm not her mate, but she never trusted anyone else either. Edward offers some comfort to her, because he can see what she does. It's why she's so close to him and tends to choose his side. But in the end, she's pretty much alone. And I couldn't live like that anymore."

I pulled him in closer to me and just held him. I wanted to help him. I wanted him to be happy. Could I help him?

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><p><strong>AN: Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!**


	12. 11 Alaska

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! They make me so happy! I hope you will all like this chapter, it's not as long as I hoped, but I wanted to post it anyway since I'm making you all wait so long already. It does however end in a cliffie now... I hope you all won't hate me for it ;)**

**Please leave me a review if you liked/loved/hated or anything in between.**

******D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related ******

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><p><strong>11. Alaska<strong>

I had been sitting with Jasper in my little towel until the others came back. Now he was downstairs with the rest, while I was finally getting dressed. Apparently, the reason nobody else came upstairs when Edward and I had our little fight, was that everyone was out arranging my 'death'.

I decided I didn't want to know anything about what they had arranged. I didn't want to know if I had died in a car crash, was mauled by a bear, burned to death in a blazing fire or anything else. I couldn't deal with knowing that. It was hard enough leaving everyone behind. This will be absolutely horrible for Charlie and Renee. I can't think about how much my death will hurt them, if I do, I think I might fall apart. And right now, that's dangerous. Being a newborn with little control.

Hah, changing subjects. Because everyone keeps telling me I'm not normal newborn and I _do_ have control. Maybe not completely, but I can control my actions, reign in my own emotions, prioritize, push my bloodlust to the back of my mind, have normal conversations, touch things and people without accidently crushing them. All in all, my control may not be perfect, but I'm doing a pretty good job if you ask me. I think maybe it's because this is what I wanted. I already knew so much about being a vampire, granted, nowhere near enough, but still. I was somewhat prepared. To be honest, everything, including the burning during the change and the bloodlust I have now, was much worse in my mind than it turned out to be.

I was making my way downstairs, noticing the silence as I contemplated why I was so different. Maybe, all it takes to have a controlled newborn, is to let the human know what is about to happen before you turn them? That could be it. It could be dangerous if it was true though. The damage a newborn that didn't have an unquenchable thirst could do if it had this much control and a sire that wanted to harm others, I didn't even want to think about that.

As I entered the room, all eyes turned to me. I noticed immediately that Edward was back and Alice wasn't. I frowned at this, where could she be? And why couldn't Edward have left instead.

"Thank you." I told the room at large. "Thank you so much for whatever you have done to put my family at rest. To give them my death to mourn instead of just a disappearance. Thank you, but please, don't tell me what you did. Don't tell my how I died. Please."

Esme rushed towards me and pulled me into a hug. "You're so very welcome, dear. We owed it to your family to give them peace of mind. I would do anything for you. No matter what happens, you are still my daughter." She pulled back to look at me and I could see the venom in her eyes. "And if you don't want to know the details, just know that we took care of everything and for as far as the rest of the human world is concerned, Isabella Swan died."

I started sobbing in her arms as she pulled me over to the couch. This meant I was now seated on the same couch as Carlisle and Esme, and in the chair next to me, was Edward. A shiver ran through me at being this close to him after what he had tried to do to me earlier tonight.

"Well, it seems discussing the staging of Bella's death is no longer necessary. In which case, Edward, I believe you had something to say to the family?" Carlisle started. I was glad there would be no discussing, but I didn't really want to hear whatever it was Edward had to say. I shifted in my seat and scooted closer to Esme. And, more importantly, farther away from Edward.

"Yes, Carlisle, I do have some things to say. First of all, I would like to apologise to everyone one for my behaviour with Tanya. It was unbecoming and I should never have crossed that line." He turned to me then. I could see in his eyes that he wasn't sorry at all. "I was just so crazy about you Bella, I couldn't see life without you and, well, you were human. Certain things were impossible for us, but I still wanted them. I wanted them with you. But that was impossible, so I turned to Tanya."

I saw Tanya, who was standing beside Edward's chair, look increasingly more enraged. But, all that rage seemed to be directed at me. Not at Edward, which is what I would have expected. He's the one who was using her, not me.

I didn't respond to his words, I could tell he was waiting for me to say something. Probably he was waiting for me to run to him, throw myself in his arms and tell him all was forgiven.

Which was _not _going to happen.

He sighed and seemed to give up the waiting. He gave of the air of a hurt and disappointed lover perfectly, but I could see his eyes. I knew those eyes well enough to know, he wasn't hurt. He was _pissed_.

"It seems I am going to have to spend the next decade making this up to you."

He sounded resigned. As if he actually believed he could. As if he believed he could make me forget everything he did to me and just forgive him. No way.

He turned his attention back to the room at large. "That brings me to my next point. Now that my Bella is changed and thought to be dead, we will have to leave Forks as soon as possible. We can not stay here."

I kind of had to agree with that, _I_ couldn't stay here. Didn't mean the rest of the Cullens couldn't though. I was probably going off with Christian and Elissa anyway.

"I think it would be best if we go to our house in Alaska. That way, we can all spend some more time together and look after Bella in her newborn year together. It will make everything much easier and give us all some time to… reconnect." He had been looking around the room during his speech but was now looking at Tanya with gleaming eyes and a smirk plastered on his face. I couldn't believe no one else saw just how deceitful and manipulating Edward was.

Tanya of course agreed immediately. "That is a great idea Edward. I know Carmen and Eleazar have missed their best friends and this time could be great for us. It is important that we who share the same lifestyle stay in contact, and helping Bella will be much easier when there are so many others to take her off your hands." She glanced at Christian and Elissa then. A flash of doubt flickered across her face before she continued. "Off course, this does not include the Thaines. They are no longer members of the Denali family and will not be welcome in our home. Honestly, I don't know why you two haven't taken off yet." As she said this last part, she glared at Elissa. It was very obvious she did not like her.

"Nor are they part of the Cullen family." Edward added. "I really do think you two have outstayed your welcome."

I could not believe this. Did Edward forget our first fight? He promised he would stop trying to get rid of Christian. What does he think he is doing?

Christian stood up straight and glared at Edward. He was exuding an air of danger, I suddenly became completely aware of the fact that Christian, was not a vampire you wanted to mess with.

"I'm not sure just how _welcome_ we were in the first place. Ever since we stepped through that door you have done nothing but insult me or show me distrust. I do not believe I _want_ to be welcome in your family, Eddie."

Elissa went to stand beside her brother. "Yes, my brother is right. Thank you for your _hospitality_ but I believe that you are right. This is not the place for us."

She turned to look at me with hopeful eyes, waiting for my to decide if I wanted to go with them.

I stood up.

"Then we will leave." I stated as I crossed the room to stand beside them.

"No!" Edward roared.

"Yes." I stated. "You already knew I had decided to leave with Christian and Elissa. And even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have gone to Alaska with you. I will not go anywhere with you. Especially after what you tried to do this afternoon. I refuse to stay here and wait for you next tantrum. Wait for the next time you decide to _claim_ me. Or _teach me a lesson_. I won't go with the family because you are with he family."

"You can't leave me love, you need me." He smirked at me. "You _are_ still a newborn after all. You. Need. Me. To help you through this. I will make you forget all of this and teach you to be a proper woman. I will help you get through this year and once you're done being a newborn, we will get married."

I just gaped at him. Luckily for me, Christian did have enough of his wits to respond.

"She does _not_ need you, Eddie. She just needs someone to help her through this year, that does _not_ have to be you. _I_ am her sire. _I_ will help her. _I_ will teach her everything she needs to know. And if she doesn't want to go to Alaska, my sister and I will take her somewhere else."

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><p><strong>AN: I'm still really busy with classes and I don't have a lot of time to write. So I can't give you a date on which the next chapter will be up. I can however promise I will post it as soon as I have written it and I will _not_ abandon this story.**

**Please click the button below and leave me a review.**


	13. 12 Anger Issues

**A/N: Ok, first of all, I'm soooo sorry for leaving you with the cliffie for so long! RL just kind of got in the way... And it will kind of stay that way until the end of the month. However, after this there should only be about 8 more chapters and I already have the outlining. So hopefully, I won't leave you hanging for the rest of the story too long. This does however mean that I can't give you all the date of the next update, sorry.**

**Please do leave me a review though and let me know what you think. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight-related.**

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><p><strong>12 Anger Issues<strong>

"_She does _not_ need you, Eddie. She just needs someone to help her through this year, that does _not_ have to be you. _I _am her sire. _I_ will help her. _I_ will teach her everything she needs to know. And if she doesn't want to go to Alaska, my sister and I will take her somewhere else."_

All hell broke loose. Everyone started screaming at each other, blaming one another for me leaving, screaming at Christian how cruel he was. At this point, I was starting to resent my new vampire-brain. Because, had I still been human, I would not have been able to follow this at all. I would have had no idea who was saying what. Now however, thanks to my new and improved brain capacity, I could follow what everyone was saying perfectly.

People had risen from their seats in order to gain an upper hand. The only people who hadn't, were Christian and Jasper. They seemed to be the only ones keeping a level head. Elissa wasn't, she was currently screaming at Rosalie how she shouldn't give a damn since she never did before. Apparently, Rosalie's lack of interest in me, has been obvious to others as well.

But that had been changing hadn't it? I mean, she stood up for me to Edward, claimed me as family. She and I had been less hostile since my change. Maybe she really did care?

But really, I was looking at Edward. From the second I met him, he was all about control. From his own bloodlust, to his family to me, he had to be in control of everything. Since the moment I confronted him about his affair though, he had done nothing but lose it. I mean, he threw through a wall and tried to rape me for God's sake. That was not being in control. Even right now, I could see in his pitch black eyes as he was screaming profanities that he would scold me for if he suspected I so much as thought them, at Christian, that he was far from in control of his anger. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to the level-headed boy I had been engaged to. He could not possibly have amassed this much anger in such a short period of time, could he?

"Enough of this." A loud, calm voice boomed. Carlisle had decided to take charge instead of just questioning Christian's current presence in this house. "Everyone, please sit down so we can discuss this like the adults we all are."

I snorted, Edward still was not an adult in my book. He's really just a winy kid who didn't get to keep the toy he wanted and kept throwing temper tantrums.

The change in the room was instantaneous though, everyone shut up and sat down. Seems Carlisle has a bit more power in this family than I ever gave him credit for.

"Now, Christian," He continued. "You are offering to take Bella with you. I think it is obvious her family is not happy allowing it. Aside from the fact that none of us _wants_ you to take away my daughter, are you even capable of taking care of her? She is a newborn and will need constant care and guidance. Are you capable of handling a newborn?"

Ok, what the hell? I know he's worried Christian won't be able to keep me in check. But what was up with the rest of that sentence? _Allowing_ me to leave? I don't need anyone's permission. And claiming me as his daughter? He was more than happy to let me die when Edward threw me through that wall. Where were his parental feelings then? And constant care and guidance? I am my own fucking person. I am more than capable of taking care of myself, I just need someone to help me with the weird stuff. _Constant_ anything, is not necessary. I was just about to open my mouth when Christian gave his answer.

"Carlisle, while I understand that this is a family, not a coven and that you see the members as your children, Bella is not one of them. She is not part of your coven. She is a part of mine, a Thaine. For that reason alone she does not need your permission to leave here with the rest of her coven."

The whole room had frozen, everyone was staring at Christian like he had just dropped a bomb. Including me. But in my case, this bomb contained nothing but rainbows and unicorns. I mean, damn, he was hot when he got all coven-leader like that. A smile broke out on my face, I was a Thaine. He had claimed me as a part of his coven. I was wanted.

"Now, even though Bell is a member of my coven, that does not mean she can't still be in contact with her _family_. Although I personally don't get the sudden urge to refer to her as your daughter when you were all too willing to let her die on your lawn just over three days ago." Christian continued while glaring at Carlisle. It seemed that the attitude the family had taken towards him had had a bigger effect than I thought it did. He was pissed.

I moved over closer to him and tried to help him relax by rubbing circles on his back. This seemed to work and he sent me small smile while he wrapped one of his arms around my waist.

_Thanks. I hope I didn't go too far in claiming you as a Thaine just now…_

He suddenly looked doubtful, as though he had done something wrong. I just stood on the tips of my toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. That would have to do as the answer to his question. I was thrilled to be a Thaine.

He suddenly looked a whole lot happier and pulled me closer into his side before turning back to face Carlisle. All the Cullens had apparently been watching our exchange with varying looks of disapproval, since they couldn't wipe the looks off their faces fast enough.

Carlisle cleared his throat before responding. "I don't appreciate you talking to me with such a lack of respect in my own home. Especially since you intend on whisking away my _newborn_ daughter to God knows where. If you expect us to let you take a member of our family, and don't make a mistake on this, Bella is a Cullen, I need you to show me some respect, son. And, I still want to know what makes you think that you will be able to care for her? It did not escape my attention that you failed to answer my question. While we are not jumping at the chance to let Edward's mate go off with you two at all, allowing it during her newborn year is just not acceptable. Unless you can prove you have some extensive experience handling newborns?"

I couldn't help myself this time. "Carlisle, no offense, but shut up."

He turned shocked eyes at me. "Bella, you have never spoken to me in such a way, what is the matter with you? First you insistence on running off with these… people, and now you are taking that tone with me? Can't you see how much you're hurting your family? How much you're hurting Edward? Your mate?"

My anger dialled up even more. "I am so sick of this. Look, when I met all of you I was seventeen. I was shy, awkward, scared and hopelessly in love. All I wanted was to be a part of this family. But you all just kept refusing me. You all left me! Without even saying goodbye! Do you have any idea what that did to me? How much that changed me? Because I don't think any of you do. I am no longer a scared seventeen year old girl. I am nineteen year old woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid of all of you. I'm so much stronger than I was back then and not just because I'm finally a vampire. I am also no longer in love with Edward. We all know he isn't my mate, he would never have been able to leave me if I was. Let alone fuck Tanya every chance he gets. So let's all stop pretending that Edward and I mean anything to each other. And, as much as I love all of you, I don't think I can look at you as family anymore. You're the people who would have left me to die outside, because your _son_, who just so happens to also be the boy responsible for my death, wanted it. That's not family, if you really loved me like you say you do, you would have done what I begged you to do, not followed _his_ orders. You didn't care about what happened to me then, so why not just let me go now without all this fighting ? If it's what I want?"

I had calmed down considerable throughout my rant because Christian had starting rubbing circles into _my_ back. Really, that feels great. No wonder he calmed down so fast when I did it for him. It was nice, the effect we seemed to have on each other.

"I'm sorry Bella, you are right. I should have turned you. If I had, there would be no fighting now, you would be a Cullen through venom. The Thaine's would have no claim over you," Oh my God, he soooo missed the point! How could I have been any more clearer? I'm pretty sure at this point, that if it wasn't for Christian and his circles, I would have flown across the room and tore some limbs from dear old Carlisle. I huddled more into Christian side in the hopes of restraining myself from doing just that. My mind really could think of lots of parts to tear off… "I promise you, we will stop fighting this, but only if we know that you will be properly taken care of. And we can't know that with Christian. Unless I am absolutely certain that you are taken care of by someone who _knows_ how to handle a newborn, I will not let you leave this family. I have dealt with four newborns, unless Christian can say the same, you are staying here."

Before this moment, I don't think I had ever seen Carlisle Cullen look smug. But he sure looked it now. Fortunately, the look was wiped off his face rather quickly.

Jasper. He had been staring at Christian's hand on my back. His arm around me. He had glared at Carlisle during the speech. He had shot me comforting glances. And now, he saved me.

"Then I will go with them." He looked to Christian as he said this. I watched their expressions and knew Christian was talking to him in his mind.

They both nodded.

"Surely, you can't object to my _extensive_ knowledge of newborn vampires. I will go pack." He stated with a huge grin, before heading upstairs to do just that.

The entire room just sat there and watched him leave.

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><p><strong>AN: I know I already asked, but please let me know what you think. It's really hard to keep writing if I don't know anyone out there actually appreciates it. Thanks for everyone who does review, or alerts or fav's this, it means so much, you have no idea.**


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